A Novel

4 more days

2011-12-27T04:52:00.000-08:00

So much has happened since my last post, I don't even know where to start.
One thing I am absolutely sure of, I need to write.
Whenever I feel the urge to write, that's because my brain is in a mess now and writing helps clear things off.

I joined Raleigh KL IW Camp last weekend. And it was an awesome experience. You can tell whether you enjoy the camp or not by your post-camp syndrome. Oh boy, you bet how much I missed the 2-day camp. Did great stuff, met great people, ate sucky can food and had tons of crazy laughter! Now I can't wait for my expedition :)

After the camp it was a crazy week for me at work.

And then come Christmas weekend and I fell sick. A bad bad one :(

In 4 more days, new year is coming.

So many to do, and yet so little time.

My Twenties List

2011-11-13T06:28:00.001-08:00

I have been having too much free time at workplace lately. And that somehow had got me into thinking of my twenties.

I have had a blessed and materially comfortable childhood, and a dream-full adolescent of limitless possibilities in life. I am 23 this year, 7 more years to go before I turn 30. I don't how's my 30s going to be like, but ideally speaking, I would want myself to have achieved something in my career, and settling down, to have my own property too perhaps.

As I am typing all these, I can't help but to ask myself is that what I really want in my life?

(Literally after 5 minutes...)
YES. I do want to settle down and live a reasonably luxury life, and to share my life with the one. I want to be great in the corporate world, I want to be able to lead an advertising campaign and to proudly claim 'I did that!'.

But before I commit myself to it, there is an even bigger part of me struggling to comprehend myself and the place I live. I desperately yearn to understand the world, the country, the city, the culture, the people, the food, everything. It just never cease to amaze me how physically and mentally each and everyone resemble so much and yet so differ. How a city evolves through each and every centuries and conceived of such diversified meanings - a placed called home to people of different time, a place that foreigners craved to visit or live in, a place that is unheard of etc.

So, what I really want to say is, I want a fearless twenties that do and see enough. The list goes on as such:

1. Join an expedition (on the way!)
2. Learn how to swim and dive
3. Fall in love passionately
4. Go round-the-world for at least 6 months
5. Visit India
6. Visit Machu Picchu
7. Work overseas for at least a year
8. Get a tattoo
9. Spend more time with my parents
10. Get a master (if I have the time and 'energy')
11. Learn at least one new language
12. Sharpen up my English, both writing and conversing
13. Be a traveler in my own city
14. To experience a white Christmas
15. Sky diving
16. Visit Liverpool and London again
16. Be true to myself

TO BE CONTINUED..

Second Visit To Kota Kinabalu

2011-09-17T07:07:00.000-07:00

I revisited Kota Kinabalu, Sabah for the second time, and it was smurfing awesome!

My previous trip to KK still stay vivid in my memory, well, except for the direction and lotcation of landmark. The initial plan was to spend a few days in the Kampung Teringai Laut, to do some voluntary works, but somehow I woke up one day asking myself: This is your second time visitng KK, if you're not going to climb the tallest mountain in South East Asia, when are you going to do it? Yea! And here we were, me and my other 3 friends being 'persuaded' (or reluctantly comprised with my plan :) With the new trip itinerary, we just figured it would be more easy to just spend our 10 days in KK chillaxing and we'll do the Kampung life sometime in future.

I knew KK is the capital of Sabah but still I am sort of surprised to see skyscraper and some branded stores. But still, it is no where near to Kuala Lumpur. Rawang, yea, more or less like that. Or maybe it was the you-are-in-a-holiday-and-you-should-be-wondered-by-every-little-things travel mindset. At least I was trying to take curiosity into every things I see and to widen up my perspective. We stayed in Akinabalu Youth Hostel for the entire trip. I picked the hostel because of its location, the centre of Jalan Gaya and oh my, the living hall was an unexpected sweet bonus! I love the long stretch of opened window, bar stool table and free desktop with internet, and most important, free DVD movie! Everything was decent, the shower, the room, the corridor, the air conditioner, even the pricing is fairly reasonable.

We spent most of the time strolling in the city, doing simple sight-seeing, hanging out at the malls, watching movie, eat and eat, drink and drink, sleep and sleep. We visited two nearby islands as well - Pulau Sapi and Pulau Manukan on two separate day. The idea was to relax and do some swimming by the sea, and as usual, we ended up doing flying fish and parasailing. Among the 2 islands, I would vote Sapi over Manukan. Simply because Manukan has got stinky jelly fish! Haha..apart from that, not to say it is totally unexplored for tourism opportunity, but still, I feel Sapi is more 'local'.

It was a different trip for me. There were 4 of us, so for most of the time, we were together. I was used to being on trip by myself. So on and off, I was actually craving for time alone. But having to say that, I am grateful to have them by my side. If it wasn't for them, I can actually foreshadow myself in all sort of clumsy and embarrassing situation (scratch the last part, I am always in embarrassing situation with or without people). Somehow I managed to steal some private time for myself to write my journal and simple reading. It was pure satisfaction. I guess I was looking for an answer within myself. I have always known that the key to all my doubt and life confession is hidden in me. What I need is just to clear off all that mess and really listen to my heart. And to do that! I need a holiday!

We booked for a 3 days and 2 nights climb, one night at the base and the other at Labuan Rata. The climb to Mount Kinabalu was actually easy and smoothly crafted for climbers. The trail is easy, but for people who has got none outdoor experience and had only climbed 2 mini mountain in KL, it was tormenting for us. Ramin, who was our mountain guide, and also porter, has been helpful throughout the climb. Somehow I can't help thinking the whole journey is boring to him, judging by the fact that he is going up and down at least 8 times in a month, and also with the speed we are going at. He was decent and patience with us. We took 6 hours to reach the Labuan Rata from the base. 6 freaking hours of non stop stairs climbing. As we were moving up, we met lots of climbers coming down. The numbers of people coming here to conquer Mount Kinabalu everyday is just surprising.

After a decent rest at Waras Hut, we embarked on the climb to summit at 2.30a.m. One of my friend was falling behind. Ramin told us to go ahead and he will look after the friend. So here we went. I would be laying if I said I wasn't terrified when we got to the rope holding part. There was no turning back and I have just got to keep moving. And I thought the toughest part was over! But God knows, the last 1.7km up was far more mentally challenging. It was dark around us, with nothing surrounding us but just a white rope on the rocky ground to lead us. Cold and windy, our headlight could barely illuminate through the misty surrounding. I knew I am heading to the peak, but just not sure when and how long more do I have to bare the cold. This was when I recalled what my Director told me. It was one of those unusual day when one of your colleague was on MC, piles and piles of compulsory deadlines, demanding clients who kept rejecting everything even though it was already unbelievably last minute. He settled down on his seats, and asked me: 'Serene, how do you eat an elephant?' I was stunned and thought you cooked the meat with spice and make curry? His answer was: 'One bite at each time'. So, how do you climb the Mount Kinabalu? One step at each time :) With that thought in mind, finally I kissed the peak.

I have said his to many of friends and I will said it again here. The peak is worth every strength and endurance, both physically and mentally. We stayed on top for 10 minutes and as much as I would like to stay longer up there, the weather was too freezing and windy for me to take. Even though my legs and knees were aching real badly, but I was laughing all the way down to Timpohon Gate (the starting point). I was that contented and happy, it was way better than getting first class or getting my own car. Well, getting my own car wasn't that happy really, it is a necessary liabity :(

I was feeling so awesome after the climb, everything surrounding start to seem that way too. I was starting to feel lucky, and getting to know some new things and people. I can't help thinking that positive energy does project into good luck.

I still don't know what is the answer to my doubt in the beginning of the journey. As a matter of fact, I was even more confused after the trip. Haha, but then it doesn't matter caused I have touched the peak :D

PS: Oh yea, did I mentioned the food? Rest assured, when you're a in KK, you're bound to bump into good food in every corner. For drinks, BB Cafe at Jalan Gaya is awesome with live band performing every nights. It is a nice open concept bar and restaurant, with a decent variety of alcohol available. I won't say the price is decent though.

Managed to snap a quick a picture of Akinabalu Youth Hostel before leaving at 5am to catch our early flights. I would recommend this to others.

Pulau Sapi

Borneo 1945 Koptitiam, Australia Place serves the best nasi lemak in town!
One of the few food places me and friends repeatedly visit for our sweet days in KK.

Sunday market at Jalan Gaya, which was just right outside hostel. We were all woke up by the noise of seller setting up their stalls as early as 4 in the morning.

At the base of Mount Kinabalu Park.

The absolute serene peak :)

4 of us :)

Follow your heart

2011-07-24T00:36:00.000-07:00

It is Sunday I really hope I could have one more day to splurge. And here, my definition of one more day doesn't imply me taking mc/el, but the whole world is resting/chilling too. I tried pampering myself with a day off from work and ended up sending emails in office while watching Xmen: First class. The world just doesn't stop for anyone. Wait a minute, does that just make me a slave to the world? What the hell.

I went out with old college mates yesterday. It was originally planned as a bar-drinking get together and for some reason we all ended up in a club. It has been a year since we last get together for club and dance. Everything felt so different now. Everyone has more story to tell, more dissatisfaction, more troubles, more shits, more unspeakable pressure. It is as if we are the salve to life, nothing is ever within our control or the way we want it to be.

And I must remind myself, life is too short and insignificant for us to cling on the unnecessary or to be bounded by rules, time, or our fear.

“Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
- Steve Jobs -

Random

2011-07-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

This is me mumbling words on my mind at 1am on a Tuesday morning.

As much as I am tempted to label my Monday as disastrous, I would like to see it as my need to handle my emotion more objectively and rationally. For the past 23 years, I've been acting on impulse most of the time - spurring words that brought to unthinkable consequences, spending on clothes that I don't necessary wear, getting a short hair, falling in love, studying in advertising, and most often than not, doing stuffs that I should have thought through before acting on it. I guess when you reacting impetuously, you lose sight of the bigger picture.

This used to be one the thing I savour about myself, I still do to be honest. I am glad that my past decisions had actually brought me here, making me a fearless person (not so much maybe). With everything that had happened today, I think it is time for me to give things a little more thought before I response to it. After all, what would a day or few second means? Provided that I make sure everything is what I really want it to be.

I would like to write down what happened to me yesterday, but I figured I might get really cranky and start blaming people when go any further into problem/trouble/issue/pile of shits/etc/. To sum it up, it was work-and-guy-related. Aha!

Cheers Serene! Think of the giant picture!

We Have It All

2011-05-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

It has been exactly 366 days when we all embarked onto our life-changing 3 months in Liverpool, United Kingdom. Funny how time flies in just a blink.

15 of us went to Bridge Bar at G Tower to celebrate (or to nostalgia) this one year anniversary. It is apparent that everyone misses our moments in UK and it meant a lot to each and everyone. Every now and then, someone would suggests: Let's have a trip to Taiwan! Let's go for war game together! Let's go for buffet together! Let's go Melacca together! Well, some plans work-out, and some just gone with the wind without anyone realizing it. For those plans that worked out, it is always among a few, never again it is anything like what happened in UK, where we went on a trip to Land's End and Scotland in 5 cars, house partying, crazy clubbing outing, a trip to Stonehenge/Manchester/South Port (and more) that were all joined by everyone - 28 of us.

We did try, but it just didn't happen. Did we try hard enough? Or is it time to realize we are no longer in Liverpool and time to wake up and face our responsibility in life?

As much as I would love to know the answer to all these, I don't.

What can I say, I am a dreamer. A very very naive and stubborn dreamer. I believe we have it all. Even though we might not have this huge group of partying or gathering anymore, what we have for that 3 months, will always stay in all of us.

Be it good or bad, I'll always treasure the 4 years, 3 months and a lifelong friendship we all shared.

Yes, let's make a pledge to meet here again :)

Anticipation

2011-05-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning with a sudden rush of anticipation for 2 things - my coming Sabah trip in September and also, the movie of Water for Elephants.

As cliche as it sounds, I want this Sabah trip to be a soul-fulfilling journey where once again, I will find out the true self. But seriously, how many soul-searching have I embarked on? And do I ever really get the answer I want? Coming to think of that, I am always lost in thought, having all these ideas and aspiration, but only so few are translated into action. Could it be that the answer to knowing myself is actually doing things and living my life literally; rather than dwelling inside my brain and thinking that I want to but never really do it? Well, I believe I will have to do it to find out :)

I just finish the novel 'Water for Elephants'. It is one of the few book where you read the synopsis on back page and you just knew you have to get it. If there is anything I picked up from the story, nothing matters as long as there is a heart. Yes :)

My Answer

2011-04-25T08:51:00.000-07:00

So much had happened and I don't even know where to begin.

First, I had a wonderful 3 months in Liverpool with my very very very precious ladies, I got dumped by my 4 years bf, and went backpacking for Europe with him and only to discover he is already in love with someone else later. Flew back to Malaysia, had some up and downs, some I-can't-live-without-you and some I-will-live-better-than-you moment. Pull myself up, got a job in Advertising Agency, got inspired by people around me, some old friends, some online video, some facebook notes, some movies, some music and very expensive ice-cream. Broke down once in a while and finally I am stabilized. I was satisfied and yet a part of me felt void.

I don't remember how it happens and why, but it is a combination of 'Water for Elephant', 'Strangers, Again by WongFu Production', my old Europe pictures and God-knows-what-else. My brain vividly formed the word and I literally say it out - WRITING.

To be very very frank, my language both spoken and written are not very strong. And yet I have always dream the job of a journalist. The sad thing is, I have never really given much thought and effort into realizing my dream. Well, from what I have learn in my jobs, writing is basically the root to all things, and most importantly, I believe it will lead me to where I want to be (even though I can't pinpoint the exact place yet :D).

I am going for this. Pinky swear!

Me in Florence, Italy.
Where I met Markus from Germany and accidentally spent 8 euro on a cone of ice-cream!

Banana, Coconut and Teringai Laut

2009-12-01T09:51:00.000-08:00

This is the first picture I took when I reached Kampung Teringai Laut, Sabah. Apparently it wasn’t a trip of 5-star hotel and endless shopping spree.

I told myself not to get lengthy with this post. For me, the trip was way too beautiful, beyond the description of words.

I spent few days in a very poor village in Sabah with 5 other student, Mr Venon - the miracle worker who makes life better for the villagers, Naimah – the loving teacher who gives her heart to the kids, Betty – the shy and kind-hearted native who worked closely with Naimah, and lastly, Gwyneth – a courageous British who volunteers to help out in the village.

Shame, I was disgusted by the children when I first reached there. Their clothes are all torn with dirt and stain, with sand all over their face and nails that I never thought I could tolerate. And the smell, I was guessing shower was not in their custom. I can see bacteria all over the place, literally. I saw how they played around, falling down on sand and wiping their face with filthy hands, eating food that had dropped on the floor.

If it were my 5 five years old cousin, he would have cry running to me and wanting me to caress him and maybe, get him a new toy. The Teringai Laut children just stand up by themselves, and laugh at their carelessness for tripping over a stone. How different.

For the few days, the 6 of us conducted a series of classes for the children. Class started at 8am, and half of them were there by 7am. With kids, we did the usual things – singing song, doing artwork, learning new vocabulary, drawing and painting. They don’t have the privilege of city kids, but they are very eager to learn, and they appreciate things.

A scene in the class room as we were teaching them artwork.

The last day was always the most memorable one. I started to bond with some of the kids there. We were giving out balloons to the kids, wanting them to learn the color balloons. The cheeky me started to draw things on the balloon for them. I drew a ‘happy’ face on Helmid’s orange balloon, “see, ini ‘gembira’. It is called ‘HAPPY’ in English”. The boy beside me (My bad, I don’t remember his name), handed me his balloon and asked, “I want HAPPY.” I took the balloon, and gave him HAPPY, with an extra car. It went on and on, they started to ask for more pictures, flower, butterfly, love, Mickey Mouse and etc.

say hi to the artist!

As I was busy showing off my talent on the balloon, I saw a boy untying his balloon and letting out the air inside, I asked him. He only said “boleh simpan lama sikit”. And the balloon cost us 20 cent.

I would never forget the scene where they left the classroom, and ran off cheerfully with the colourful balloons on their hand. Happiness is just so simple.

Later on, the kids gave us a tour around the village. Pendeling, the mischievous girl who always failed to stick her butt on the chair came beside me and hold my hand. The little hand which I deemed as unhygienic on my first arrival, is now the warm hand I wish to hold again. Normah came later, holding my hand as we strolled around the village.

Forest pigs roam around the village as if it was nobody business, indeed a rare scene in city nor town. We saw their houses, built of wood and bamboo. And yeah, we saw deer too! On our way, we bumped into Pendeling’s mother, she was washing clothes beside the river with some other villagers. The kids definitely have potential to be tour guide, they were so eager to show us around, and teaching us their native language – Rusun. I am a slow learner, I can only remember ‘tasuk’, which means dog in English.

It was getting late and we had to head back to the school. Without my expectation, the girls gave me a hug, a gesture than means more than life to me.

I left Kampung Teringai Laut next day, and without packing my heart.

I hold some of the best memories I have in Kampung Teringai:

Rohesa, she looks like pageant princess!!

Wendi, a shy shy boy who won't join us in the class, but peeping at us through the window. And I knocked my head like **** while handing him the balloon outside the classroom.

My favourite spot of the house!! The hammock where I felt asleep while listening to the splashing sounds of banana and coconut leaves, bringing my mind to the beach. This is also how I got the idea for title, the banana and coconut...

A bowl of RM1 chicken mihun!!Unbelievable right?!

This is what you get when you are staying in a rural village! Endless coconut. Oh, did I mention the kids can climb coconut as fast as a Nissan Skyline?

A long long long long journey to the beach...

finally, after 45 minutes of walk..we are there...ohmmmm.....

no caption, simply acting crazy.

the five star house of Kampung Teringai Laut

cam-whoring while touring the village!

Spiderman crossing the bridge, which I don't have the guts to cross...*shy*

HAPPY simply loving this photo.

Looking up.

It has been months since I last left Teringai Laut, the memory is still dancing vividly in my brain. What I have gained through the journey is priceless, and I don't think I can channel my emotions into words, it wouldn't be as beautiful as experiencing it yourself. Who knows, someday, you might be sharing with me how much you enjoy your stay in an unknown village and drinking lots lots of coconut!

Off To An Unknown Village

2009-09-22T11:45:00.000-07:00

At 6.50am later, I will boarding on a flight to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, off to an unknown village with my friends.

First time being away from home for 2 weeks,
first time having to stay in a real rural area,
first time having to cook for all meals,
first time having no handphone network for 2 weeks,
first time having no facebook for more than one day,
first time having no MSN messenger,
first time having no laptop and games for more than 2 hours,
first time having to wash all my clothes MANUALLY,
first time having no cozy bed and blanky for nights,
first time having no aircon for more than one day...

I hope I survive.

See ya in 2 weeks time!

Change

2009-09-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

In less than half an hour, I made a decision to cut my hair short. Yeap, finally I am leaving my long fluffy hair at the salon.

I am not dumped by that someone, I did not screwed up my studies, I did not run away from my family, I did not just killed someone - nothing out of the ordinary happened to me lately. The thing is, I wanted a change for no apparent reason, something I want to do for myself.

I sms-ed my mom informing her I were going to cut my hair short. My mom always has the mind set that long fair means femininity. Her replied was short and blunt : It'll make you look fat, don't cry after that k. Ouch...

The salon were having a promotion for hair cut, RM15.90 for all style. Why not then? And there I went, without knowing specifically how my new hair going to look like. The hairstylist assured me that she knew what to do with my hair, I am not a pro in these, so, I shut my mouth and wait for it to happen.

Ta-dah!! I was very much satisfied with my new hair. More than just satisfaction I would say. For the first few days, I felt really bizzare staring at the girl in mirror. For several times, I even freaked myself out when I walked pass a mirror. Guess I were so used to having long hair.

The only problem is, it cost RM30. I got fooled. The hairstylist explanation was:"Becuase we washed your hair for you. That RM15.90 package doesn't include washing hair." Thanks for the clarification ya!! -_-

Confession time, I am very proud of my new hair. Yeah, I look even plumper with my 'Cleopetro hair' (quoted by my friends). But....I am really happy with my new hair mah...*shy*

I felt like I have been sheltering in my shell for so long, never really experience the extraordinary. Even while the phrase was degenerating to cliché in ordinary public use, it still means a lot to me - I only get to live life once, hence I shall move from shells to shells, till I have lived through all.

UP UP and UP

2009-08-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

*Ding Dong*
"Good afternoon, are you in need of any assistance today Sir?"

Two thumbs UP, UP and UP!!

I was expecting some real silly and hilarious scene to save me from suffocated by tensions of final exam. I got more than what I have expected. It is definitely one of the few best movies for year 2009.

By the look of the trailer, I was assuming that this is a story about a lonely old man whom is selfish and lifeless, and how he leaves the human land and retreat into an isolated island. The chubby boy, Russell, his 'partner' for the adventure, would eventually changed him into a better person. Well, I guess it is true that we shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

I have to change my stereotyping perception towards animated movie again. The message of the movie is simple, to dream and to soar. And finally, Carl, a grumpy old man, steps up and realizes his childhood dream. I won't want to spoil the story here!! You have got to watch it yourself, seriously.

The movie is presented in such a adorable and heartening content, and yet, within it bares the spirit of adventures and dreams, and how a seemingly impossible imagination/idea is performed to the public.

Perhaps I should really start to dream big and start my own adventure. Ermmm...buuuutttt....I am staying in a 25 floors condominium, how many balloons do i need??

I splurge because of my nose!

2009-08-25T08:10:00.000-07:00

I have RM200 in my purse. and I told myself I would save it for the coming month. I really would.

Within the short 0.009 sec I spent at L'occitane counter, I knew I'm screwed.

I splurged on a hand cream. Blame the nose, seriously. Besides, I need to get a new hand cream anyway (hmmm...maybe not). The hand cream smells like the cream I used back in hometown as a child. I can't remember the brand, the packaging, the function of it, but yet, it brings me back to the old time. I have the urge to own the hand cream, I know it is bad. Yea yea yea, I will get rid of impulse buying SOMEDAY k???~~~~

I guess I was looking for something tangible to hold on to my past.

I still remember the smell of body shower I used when I ended my first relationship.
I remember the smell of softlan used on my secondary school pinaform.
I remember the sweaty smell of No 2 bus and the squezziness in it.
I remember the smell od hair cream I used back in Form 1 to 'flatten' my fluffy lion-ly hair. I remember the smell of my mom's perfume when she dropped by my primary school to give me my lunch.
I remember the smell of singapore custome and how my dad was standing behind all the smell.
I remember the smell of my precious bolster which I haved used for 10 years, which was thrown by my mom.
I remember the smell of fried cempedak my mom cooked when I was studying on my study desk.
I remember the smell of my stuffy room when I haved locked myself inside for more than 8 hours.

I wonder how does Sabah smell like now??^_^

The Time Traveler's Wife

2009-07-03T08:04:00.000-07:00

Not knowing how to spend my last possible leisure night before I get busy with SOS Earth publicity execution, I tuned to YouTube, looking for some movie trailers that might intrigue my interest. And I got it.

The Time Traveler's Wife

I can hear a ring in my tiny brain. The title seem familiar, as if I have heard of the story. I browsed my bookshelf. I am speechless toward myself, I have the novel. It was still nicely wrapped with plastic and been there since last few months. Gosh...I am such a terrible person.

I found some other novels that I haven't read or 'touch' yet. Hahaha...I guess I must stop myself from buying any more novels until I have finished all of those in my bookself, around 10 of them??(I am guessing more)

Anyway, I recalled why I bought the book, well, it was sold for 50% cheaper, how am I supposed to resist it? And of course, because of the title - The Time Traveler's Wife.

Time is always ahead of me, and I never seem to be able to fully utilize my time. I am one second older every now and then. No rewind, no fast forward, no pause...beyond our control. Wouldn't it be amazing if I can beat the time? :)

Will start reading this book right after The Sleeping Doll by Jeffery Deaver!

The synopsis

The Time Traveler's Wife is the love story of Henry and Clare DeTamble, a young married couple living in Chicago. Their lives together are complicated by a mystifying and exasperating genetic condition that causes Henry to involuntarily time travel. While Clare is left wondering if the man she always knew she would marry is safe from harm, Henry is taken on journies that are unpredictable, and alternately harrowing and amusing. While Henry strains to live as normal a life as he can, pursuing goals that will be familiar to most — a steady job, love, good friends, children of his own — Clare has always known that their love was pre-destined, having already met Henry as a young girl when he would time travel from their present to her past before they met.

Their bizarre life and the challenges they face are the same burdens that ultimately we all must deal with the inability to have control over their lives. However, what Henry's affliction does provide them is a glimpse to their final hours and to the novel's breathtaking ending. The Time Traveler's Wife is a story about adoration, separation, and ultimately about how time defines so much in our lives.

New Moon Officail trailer

2009-06-03T05:42:00.000-07:00

Finally the New Moon trailer is out.

Seem like it stays loyal to the novel. The trailer doesn't really excite me though, probably because I have passed the-twilight-obsession-period.

To my astonishment, the werewolf looks kinda cute. I was imagining something real hairy and intimidating. Well, it is still to early to say that.

Definitely will watch it!! :)

Rice Dumpling

2009-05-27T06:36:00.000-07:00

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha XD

Finally I know how to wrap rice dumpling!

Okay, I know you are sweating, - it is not right this insane girl can cook the whole rice dumpling. Don't sweat ya, wrapping a perfectly un-leak-able rice dumpling is not as easy as you thought k.

Okay, I am making a fuss here. So what? It is still my blog and I know how to wrap a rice dumpling!

I managed to wrap around 14 dumplings without the help of my grandma!!! *proud*
My precious baby rice dumpling, half of them are already in my stomach now!!!

I only got it right after few (fine, after like 20?) attempts. Even now the the shape of the dumplings weren't quite there. But you can see the triangular shape and it doesn't leak!! Practice makes perfect, anyone want to hire me to wrap rice dumpling for ya?

The ingredients of the day, all fully prepared my two aunties and grandma. We have oyster, pork, dried prawn, mushroom, salted egg yolk, and of course sticky rice. Some of the ingredients are not shown above. I actually took the pic of all ingredients, but haiz, my sucky camera skills, it turned out to be blurry.

A fruitful result of a whole day of sweating, squatting, cleaning, washing, cooking, frying, boiling, wrapping, and etc etc etc.
Seem like a lot of rice dumplings huh? Believe me, in a big family, there is only so little rice dumpling for each and everyone.

Wahahahaha...this is the rice dumpling I wrapped!!And it is triangular!! Am I making you hungry?? XD

Heeley

2009-05-25T07:43:00.000-07:00

A dog wags its tail with its heart.

~Martin Buxbaum~

I am never a dog person. Seriously.

But how can you? They are such adorable creature with wagging tails!!

Whenever I see a dog, okay, very cute, and it bites. That's it, I draw my line. I know, I am cold-hearted and all that. Well, I never say I am an amiable person right?

And then there is Heeley, a two months old puppy. The only dog/puppy I have ever caresses tenderly for more than 1 minute.

Only my ever two mischievuos and cheeky 9 and 7 years old cousins could have tought of such a name for a puupy. Heeley was given by a neighbour to my grandma, and then my grandma gave it to my auntie's family who stay in Penang.

I come to my auntie's house on Saturday, along with my grandma. It is sorta like a routine for my grandma to come to Penang and stays with her daughters for some days. This time, I tag along! The first day I arrived in Penang, Heeley just got discharge from a vet clinic. According to my auntie, she is having some worms infection, causing it impossible for food digestion.

Heeley, a small local puppy. Adorable and cute. Then, I spent my whole day playing PSP and surfing the net.

Monday evening, out of the blue moon, I sat beside Heeley's cage and looked at her. She looked so weak and vulnerable. Without knowing how I manage to get over the fear of being bitten by a dog, I opened the cage door and stroke Heeley gently. After all, she is only a puppy. Why on earth would I be afraid of her? She tried to stand up but keep falling off. After several attempts, she gave up and lied her body aside while I caress her tiny body. Not bad huh, maybe I might start to like dog soon. I even thought of keeping a dog for real!!haha...Heeley convinced me not all dogs bite.

Heeley looked so fatigue, and she didn't bark at all for two days. She doesn't have to know human language, anyone with bare eyes would have known she is in agony. I have very little knowledge of dog, the only thing I know how to do is to tenderly stroke away all her pain.

Not long afterwards, my uncle reached home with the kids. He called the vet, Dr Joseph after seeing Heeley is not turning any better. After 5 minutes, we are on our way to the vet clinic.

Heeley did not make any noise on the journey. She just lied quietly there.

Dr Joseph injected a kind of fluid into Heeley's backside, which is suppose to cause diarrhea and hence removing all the worms and toxics in her body. The vet threw alot of scientific terms while explaining to us about Heeley's condition. It has been 3 years since I last exposed myself to any scientific thingy, and so I only managed to grab 30% of what the vet was trying to convey. Based on my understanding, Heeley's body was 'attacked' by hookworms, which mostly is genetically inheret through birth or through 'breastfeeding' from her mom. It is very likely that Heeley was having severe internal bleeding and her organs might be cruelly bitten by all the worms.

The fluid is supposed to bring to defecation, in order words, poo!! We waited for 5 minutes, nothing come out. Dr Joseph increase the dose. While the vet was injecting the fluid to Heeley's backside, from laying there weakly, she become uptight, and she tried to open mouth and bark with her faint body. No voice coming out from Heely. She was too weak to moan for pain. I was hoping at least my caress will make her feel better.

After another 5 minutes, still nothing.

Nothing and still nothing.
Bad news. Heeley might be having mechanical failure. And the survival chance is only 25%.

Two option:
- Take the 25%.
- End Heeley's pain once and for all.

Heeley's gaze never leave my uncle while he was thinking. As if she knows what we were talking about. Does dog really understand what human said? If they do, Heeley was suffering inside out.

After much consideration, my uncle decided to put her down. It was very disheartening, but there is only so little we can do. Even the vet said her survival chance was bleak.

Just as we were about to leave, Heeley poo!! Finally she defecated. We can see all the dirty poo coming out!! And here I thought twist and hope are only meant for fiction. She poo!! and it was alot.

There were alot of worms and digested blood in the poo, which indicating severe internal bleeding. For one moment, I really thought Heeley would get well. What was done was till there. Heeley's survical chance is still bleak, and the pain is with her.

Final decision - Let Heeley goes.

We left the clinic. Heeley still didn't make a noise. I wonder, does she know what is going to happen to herself? What will she do if she get to choose for herself? I looked at her eyes for once lifetime, does dog cry? If they do, I think I saw tears in her eyes...

We didn't talk much in the car. I can't tell my uncle is not having the world most desirable emotion now. If must be devastating to make such decision. I don't know what to think and feel.

I only knew Heeley for 2 hours. Afterall, death is part of life.

I can't help crying in the shower. I have had a ride on emotional roller coaster today, a bad bad bad bad bad roller coaster.

Last Chapter of My Internship

2009-05-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

“It is good to have an end to journey toward;
but it is the journey that matters, in the end”
~Ursula K. LeGuin~

I never like the way I feel whenever I am reaching the ending of a novel. Never.

Now, I am feeling exactly the same way. My 3-months internship in Grey Global ended today.

I won't say I have grown mature after this internship, there is no way I can judge myself, of course I would bias myself :) Nonetheless, this 3 months journey had widen my vision, and show me my flaws and all the shortcoming I had been ignoring over the years. After all, I am never a perfect person, and I do not wish to be flawless person in the future neither. Perfect is just simply dull :)

Over the past 3 months, I had been dreadful about having to wake up at 6 every morning, and having to spend whole day in the office. Like a kiddy girl waiting for Christmas present, I anticipated the last day of my internship and I expected myself to be like a freed monkey, jumping here and there. Ironically, the reality always seem to be different with my expectation.

It's hard to believe my internship finally ended, there are so much I wish to do in Grey, and so many people I haven't get to know. Looking back, I have done several(maybe more than that) mistakes and foolish acts. It feels sucks to know you are not doing a great job, but hey, I will learn from my mistake! The next time you see me, I will be better!!

Reading the last chapter of the novel is never easy for me. This is the time I when I usually regretted for not spending more times on understanding all the details and also the characters in the story. But hey, why look back when you a bright future radiating brightly in front of you? I am ready to start a new book, and this time, I learn and will not let myself regret :)

Stay confident and keep smiling!

My grandma and handphone

2009-05-11T06:52:00.000-07:00

When a child is born, so are grandmothers.

~Judith Levy~

"Why do you need a handphone?"

"Haiyo, sometimes when I am cooking in the kitchen, you all can call the handphone instead of the housephone mah, then I don't have to run all the way from kitchen to living room to answer the phone lor. Somemore I walk so slow, by the time I reach the living room the phone also stop ringing already lor...."

With all the crystal clear facts given by my grandmother, she won herself a handphone.

It was my mom's old Samsung colour handphone, with only basic function - texting and phone call. No picture message and camera. My grandma was contented.

I grew up in a small town called Gurun with my grandma. For 17 years, I spent my life in a village, with very little space and privacy for myself. I was rather a cocky and ignorant teenager. I thought I am perfect and I have all it takes to be someone significant to the world. I can't wait to get out of that small town and spread my wings. Being in a small house, with 3 rooms, and 'tons' of people, I yearned for my own space. Somehow, the value of cherishing people around you just slip through my minds.

After Form 5, I got what I always dreamt of - coming to a big city and pursued the lifestyle I have always wanted. I lived in vanity for one year.

My sister moved to KL later for her studies. It hit me suddenly, I am not as happy as I thought I would be. It's life, you grow up, and slowly one by one, you leave your old house. My grandma is staying with my mom in Gurun, just the two of them with a maid in a big house that was once so noisy and lively. How irony is that. If only I can travel through time, I would have gone back and slap my old self, punch myself maybe, and hopefully, I would learn to live the moment.

The thought of my grandma sitting alone on the couch and listening to the only sound from radio is unbearable. I hate myself for not giving her the care and love she deserve, I hate myself from leaving the house, and I hate myself for enjoying my life here while my grandma is missing her family whom are always busy with their life.

She wouldn't want to move to KL or Penang(my auntie is staying there). She insists. I am glad my mom is still there to take care of her.

" Hey, I saw my sister's handphone, flip one ler. It looks very easy, I can just open and close the phone like that. Then I don't have to lock the keypad, so troublesome."

"You very trendy ler. Your old handphone cannot use already meh?"

"That one going to spoil soon ler. Sometimes it sot sot dei, I cannot listen to what you all said in the phone."

"You know the flip phone very expensive ar?"

"Cheh, I pay myself lar. You bring me to the phone shop can already. I got money."

To compensate for my guilt, I got my grandma a cheap Motorola colour flip handphone, which cost only RM150. I went high and low to look for the possibly cheapest flip phone. The sales assistants were showing me their f**king scornful face everytime I asked this question,

"Leng chai, you got any first hand colour flip phone below RM200 ar?"

"Leng lui, we don't have such cheap phones lar...RM400 one got, you want?"

.......................

Gladly, I managed to find one that is decent enough for my wallet and also to make my grandma happy. I handed her the phone during 2009 CNY, I can tell she was happy and my heart was contented.

I received a call from my grandma two days ago.

"Pei Yinn ar, I don't how ar, I dropped the handphone in the water ar. It cannot be used already now. Haiz..why am I so careless..."

I tried to assure her that it can be fixed and it's still under warantee. After that, I totally put it behind my mind and enjoy the rest of my weekends.

Until today, my auntie(my mom's second sister) sent me a msn message:

Auntie: Hey, you got any unused handphone or not?

Me: No ar, why?

Auntie: Ah ma's handphone dropped into the water. Not sure why, but she seems to be very sad about it. You got any handphone for her?

My heart sunked, tears twirled in my eyes. I know why she is so sad.

I checked my daily planner. I am taking the earliest bus back to Gurun after I ended my internship.

Page of green romance

2009-05-05T05:22:00.001-07:00

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you
will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies

I was childish, ignorant, easily manipulated, ridiculous, silly and all the pathetic words you can think of.

Looking back at myself, I can’t stop thinking how silly was I, silly in a good way though. Fell in and out of crush, sweet and bitter, blessed and embarrassed, foolish and rational, fantasy and reality. What a good way to spend my adolescence!

My definition of ‘love’ evolves as I move forward the path of life.

Standard Six

I had my first crush in Standard Six and I will never forget about it. Well, they said the first cut is the deepest (there is no cut actually). He was in front of me in class, a badminton player representing my school for a state (region?) competition. The badminton tournament was held in my school, hence, as the host, our school has the advantage of bigger cheering groups. The class went for the match. Silly me, I was mesmerized by him. After the match, I couldn’t get his image out of my mind and here I thought something was wrong with me. I was smart enough to figure out the answer – I had a crush on a boy, smart huh?
A 12 years old Serene, what can I really do? Peeping at him in class all the time, my heart skipped a beat when my friends talked about him, feeling uneasy when other girls (specially cute girls) approach him, blushed whenever he talked to me, remembered every single words he said to me, tried to impress him with my new hair band and a lot more highly private and confidential issues.
And the best part, I thought I was doing a great job in masking my crush, in fact the whole class knew. Gosh, don’t mention that. I never confess to him, I thought it was not needed. I am glad that I did not! Hah, guess I am not that silly as I thought.
After we graduated from primary school, we lost contact, and that’s the end of my first silly crush.

Form 2

A hurtful and embarrassing one.
I don’t know where the heck this guy get my ICQ (it was still very popular back then) and I don’t what’s wrong with me either, I fell for his words. We chatted through phone and ICQ, and that’s all. He confessed to me few weeks later. Seriously, I couldn’t believe that either. Like I said, I was really pathetic and desperate. Hey, the first time a guy confessed to me, my heart literally stopped functioning when he told me that. I was never his ‘official girlfriend’, we just flirted through phone and ICQ. Even to date I have not met him in real person. My parents thought I was still too young to have a handphone, hence I have to wake up in the middle of the night and called him secretly with my house phone. Pathetic huh?
The whole thing ended in few months, he initiated it. Looking back, I have got no reason to be heartbroken but it did sting for a while. I am good in protecting myself emotionally.

Form 4
Thanks to ICQ again. Apparently my adolescence’s love life evolved around the net.
It was purely platonic at first, we got in touch because of some tuition issue. He was from a different school. We started to SMS each other (yeah, finally, I can do things behind my parents’ back). We shared common interests in books, life and some other things. We basically SMSed each other every hour, except for night time.
After a year, we see no reason for not being together, and voila, my first relationship. I was showered with sweet promises and compliments the whole time, and I thought we are two mature teenagers whom would stick together until forever. I was very much attracted to his maturity and his passion for life.
It ended after 3 months. I was wounded and embarrassed by my own ignorance. I was so blinded by the cupid and overlook the apparent problems between the two of us.

Now
I think it will be very ignorant to say I know the meaning of love at my age. There are umpteen definitions for love out there and they are all very subjective. It's an emotion people felt at heart and beyonds all languages. To me, it's most important to cherish what I had now, to fully live the moment. I have learned to cherish those I love, be tolerance and patience, and lastly, love them unconditionally.

I never regretted for any of it (though I am rather embarrassed at some point), in fact, I am delighted that it happens :)

I cherish these memory of my life, now and forever.

A yellow friend tells me...

2009-05-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

Other men said they have seen angels,
But I have seen thee
And thou art enough.
~ by G. Moore ~

Second day of my precious holidays, I promise myself to do something constructive instead of idling around my house after wasted my first off day on basically nothing.

A very nice little bird woke me up at 10 in the morning and I am grateful that I did not trash my handphone on the floor. Weekends usually mean my turn for cleaning the house. I swept the floor, mop it, washed the clothes and bedsheet, and wiped the furniture. Here, I decidedly swear to myself, I will not become a housewife in the future, even if my future husband threatens to divorce me!

Chun Kit arrived later in the morning. Ever since our internship started, we had been spending our weekends on my place together. I never told him how much I enjoy his presence here. Even with him just sit there and play with computer for whole day, seeing him there is all I could ask for.

My dad went out early in the morning, and after all the extreme-household-chore, I was starving!! Out of nowhere, my stomach told me she wants to eat egg tart!! The bright sunny creamy yellow-orange egg tart! I called my dad, asking him to pick up some egg tart for me on his way home.

“I am reaching the car park already, you eat bread lar…”

Okay, no egg tart for my stomach.

The rest of my day went on with no thunder. I watched some Hong Kong drama on DVD, online and went for a swim with Chun Kit.

I am starting to enjoy my moment with the water. For some reasons, I never find being in a large pool of water is safe. I think it’s the insecurity and my inability to lose some grips. There are times when I feel like letting go of the floating board I was holding, and to be freed in the water. Chun Kit likes to float on the water and just stare at the tranquil blue sky while listening to the serene sound of water.Sometimes, a peaceful moment is all it needs to keep a person sane.

We went for dinner with auntie’s family in a hawker stall. As usual, Chun Kit will join us for dinner. After half plate of fried tom yam noodles, and some fried chicken, my stomach was still not very much satisfied. Sigh, after one week hardship of dieting, I was baffled by my stupid stomach. I went to order some fishball. As I turned around and walked back to our able from the fishball stall, I saw a silly guy stood in front of me with an egg tart.

“Why…” a speechless Serene trying to understand.

“I bought for my mom you dumbass.” Chun Kit said sarcastically.

I grinned like a little girl.

To be honest, the egg tart is not very nice in taste. Nonetheless, it tells me I am one lucky blessed girl :)

Face Creator

2009-04-28T00:38:00.000-07:00

“It's beauty that captures your attention;

personality which captures your heart.”

After 5 days of waking up grudgingly six in the morning, while my logical thinking and lazy bugs battling inside my brain (Logic triumps big fat lazy bugs always), this is how my millions investment look like at the end of weekdays:

I picked up make-up 3 years ago, after I started my life as college student. Ever since then, I begin to adopt each of them one by one. Sometimes when I feel merciful, I adopt bunches at one time :)

I can never forget the first time I put on make-up, all by myself. It was unspeakably ugly. Well people say practise make perfect and here I am!! Thanks to countless YouTube Guru, beauty bloggers and tons of girlie talk with BFF, now, I can walk out of the house with a decent looking make-up look.

I have make-up base, liquid foundation, loose powder, pressed powder, 2-way powder, mascara, tons of eyeshadow in single casing, palette, blusher, highlighter, bronzer, lipstick, lipgloss, lip balm, shimmer lipstick, lipliner, pencil eyeliner, gel eyeliner, liquid eyeliner, mousse form cheek colour, dark-eye concealer, eye primer, powder brush, eyeshadow brush, concealer brush, blusher brush, eyeliner brush, and et cetera. And you know what? I have more to come!!

This is what will happen when you have 8 hours of free time in office, you log on to beauty blogs and forum, get tempted by the cosmetic items own by others, your desire and foolishness overwhelmed your logical thinking and it starts to fool you into believing that you have plenty of money to be spared on few extra must-get-high-grail-items. As a result, with few clicks, voila, your baby will be delivered to you doorstep!

Why am I so crazy over this make-up thingy? Why most girls are insanely addicted to beauty products? Why is the beauty and cosmetic products earning billions and the digit is definitely soaring high up. Everyone knows the answer. All these colourful item, is literally face creator, giving us a better outer looking.

I look sooooo different before and after 'touch up' by a professional Japanese make-up artist who is totally adorable!

I bet you can tell which is before and which is after...I myself have never seen me looking so sharp. It took him one hour to finish the whole look, and it was only a simple day outing look. He taught me how to apply the eyeshadow and and concealer and bla bla bla to archive the look, nonetheless, after several efforst, I ended up looking like being punch on the eyes, I learn to accept the fact I am not a born make-up artist.

In fact, I myself don't really bother about how I look before and after make-up. I just put it on for the sake of the process. Imagine painting your face with brushes and colours, wow, that's sound fun! Okay, maybe not so fun for certain people.

When I have make-up on my face, it feels like I am secure, as if I am not who I am really am deep inside. I tend to be more careful with my body movement, I tend to hold my tears better when, I tend to look alert while actually my mind is always in blurry state. Or maybe I just need an excuse to not-to-be-myself for a while.

I have totally overspent my budget on cosmetic items for the past two months. So, listen here girl, you are officially banned from going 10 meters near any cosmetic counters for the coming few months(or maybe just 1 month). Any violation of rule and regulation may subject to further action of the 'Cosmetic-Burning Association'.

Creation

2009-04-24T00:26:00.000-07:00

Creation
The divine act by which, according to various religious
and philosophical traditions,
the world was brought into existence.

If I am given the power to create, the permission to create, I will create a 'Serene'.

It's more of like my desired projection to the world, my secretive side :)

I have my own definition for the 'perfect' personality, and I often try to achieve that flawless image. However, things that stay inside one's mind can be very different from what are shown to the world. Our mind is a very dangerous thing as it can basically do everything. I can persuade my mind to believe I am a sexy hot slim lady while in fact I can stand on glasses and shatter it into pieces - provided that I shut down the 'self-consciousness' in my brain.

Every murder cases start with a thought.

If I can create 'myself', it will be such:

1. A painter
I have always admire those people who can draw and paint well. Through drawing, emotion and ideas can be portrayed in an artistic way. Though with the invention of camera, you can capture all the wonderful moments instantly and perfectly. However, to me it lacks of the 'passion for life' element. Drawing takes time and effort, and heart too. A piece of drawing might not be as perfect as a photography, but I will remember the image in my heart, forever.
Sadly, I real bad in coordinating the perspective and the relative size of a picture. I will stick to camera now..T_T

2. Evil
I love Disney Princess, Ariel from mermaid the most, but I am not a believer of sweet and lovey dovey. Yea, I am evil. I always have unimaginable sickening thoughts tingling and hiding in my mind. My civilized and educated background had taught me to be kind and amiable to humanity and the society. If I were given a chance to unleash the beast inside me, how would it be? Those who have read or watched 'Lord of the Flies' would know.
Is it possible that the beast inside me might actually be a fierce and fury beast with a big heart? Guess I would never know.

3. A Traveller
我听见我忘记; 我看见我记住; 我做我了解。
I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I do and I understand.
I strongly agree with the above proverb. You have to see and feel it yourself to fully understand a new expierence. 'I' is only part of 'LIFE'. I wouldn't want to stuck with my own little circle for my whole life. I am an eager and greedy person. I want explore every aspect of the world. I want to know about everything.
I am always awed by those who have the courage to travel overseas alone. Travelling alone give me the freedom I yearn and also the space to wonder. Nonetheless, with great blessing, I have used to depend on those surrounding me, my dad, my mom, my sis, my grandma, my boyfriend and etc. I am afraid of leaving without them.
Someday, I will pull out great courage, and steps my foot to the world all by myself!!

4. A Master of Her Own Hands & Legs
A Serene that can walk on a smooth and flat floor, without spraining her ankle.
I am suck with my own hands and legs. Sometimes I feel like they don't belong to me as if they will unite and form a secretive association and betray me anytime.
Go away traitors, new Serene don't need you!!

5. A Fighter
I want to be a fighter that never give up!! Keep striving forward for my vision and hold on to all the obstacles. It hurts to trip over a big giant sharp stone, and the scar probably will be there forever. Should I keep walking or sit there, moan and cry, waiting for my prince charming to rescue me, or should I turn back and go back to where I was?
Everyone know the right answer. And I yearn for the strength to follow the right answer.

6. Most importantly, Honest
A person that is honest with her heart and have no fear of striving for what she long for.
Often, I find myself shadowed with others' perception and social norms. I ain't a saint. Most of the time, I care too much of what others think, and in the end, I followed what people think is right.
New Serene, listen, you've got no one to care but your own self.

The lists go on and on. It will never end. I am not as 'perfect' as the creation of Serene in my mind, not even close I guess. Nonetheless, the Serene that is typing now, is feeling happy of what she is able to do everyday:)

A Job Interview

2009-04-23T05:48:00.001-07:00

Okay, breath Serene, it is over.

I have taken a shower, listen to soft music, and my blood pressure is dropping. I am able to think again.

Maybe I exaggerate a little, fine, A LOT.

I guess I did average for the interview. I am not especially impressed with myself. I lost Janet(my interviewer) for few times. Here questions really got me thinking.

1. Tell me about your vision.
2. When you are old and laying on the bed, what would you like to look back at?
3. What's weakness?
4. What do you think will be the biggest challenge in your future?
5. What do you think of winning?
6. In what ways would you like to influence people in future?
7. How do you manage deadline?
8. Why would you want to join 95% Academy?

I can't be sure of how to reply her. It was just so unexpected. I scanned through my messy brain to look for the 'powerful' answer. Nonetheless, I got confused between nerve A and nerve Z, you can imagine what happened.

Janet gave me some comments on my mistakes. She did not even look at my result! Hahaha!! She was hoping I can join them for full time, but it is impossible, I need to at least get a degree. My dad would straggle me if I don't.

It would be good if I can join 95% Academy as a part time trainee, to gain more experience and also meet inspiring people. Speaking of inspiring people, I have met several people in my office, they have shown the other side of life, which I have never seen.

I always feel there is a lesson in everyone's story, even the seemingly ordinary people :)

A Crappy Mind

2009-04-22T18:35:00.000-07:00

23 April 2009, Thursday, 7pm, at 95% Advertising Academy. My first job interview.

I am not hunting for a job, at least not in the coming 1 year.

I go for it anyway, who knows I might secure myself with a job in the future? Janet from 95% text me and asked me to go for an interview.

I saw this book when I was browsing through Times bookstore.
They Don't Teach Corporate in College by Alexandra Levit.

When straight-A student Alexandra Levit graduated from college, she was hell-bent on skipping up New York City’s corporate ladder. But after six months on the job, Levit was so stressed out that she was ready to ditch the business world completely and head to law school. Eventually, by sticking around and paying attention to the few people around her who weren’t dropping from stress-induced coronaries, Levit developed many of the qualities crucial to staying sane and building a career. By her mid-twenties, she had been promoted four times.

I knew I had to read this book! I was quite skeptical of self-development books, never really thought it might help. You see, I don't believe you can learn people skill through reading a book. And now, I would have to change my perception. At the end of the day, I might not be able to fully comprehend and apply every things from the book. I am hoping it might lead to new discovery...of the corporate world or myself.

I am reading it before my interview, and it really got into my nerves. Frankly, I didn't do much preparation apart from the make-up and clothes! I am girl, what do you expect??! Here are a few questions I have sorted out:

Tell me about yourself.
Sane Serene
I come from a small town in Kedah and moved to KL 3 years ago. Back in my place, people don't really speak in English, Chinese and dialect was our main language. Mastering English doesn't come easily to me. In Form 1, as I was reading through a biography of an author, I came across the word 'passion'. I look for the meaning with the old way - dictionary. Ever since then, it is my belief. I am a passion-driven person. I hold strong passion in my life, and with that, nothing will stop me for striving forward.

Insane Serene
If I tell you who I am, would you believe me?
If you would, okay, I am actually a secret agent from FBI USA sent here for a highly confidential mission.
If you wouldn't, no point telling me about myself.

What's your worst quality?
Sane Serene
I would have to say I am a super workaholic. Once I get started on a project, I will not want to stop until it's over. And I am always over-concentrated. Often I would neglected things around me when I am focusing on one issue. My best friend knew me so well. For instance, when I am reading or doing something else, she would actually tell others - save your energy from talking to her, she goes into the book already.

Insane Serene
Well, even I do have one, I won't tell you k. Next question.

Okay, I give up. I really don't know what am I typing now. It took me forever to reach here.

My mascara-ed eyelashes are feeling very heavy on my lid, and my mind is blur. I mean it literally, blur. I can see this white blurry space in front of me. And we my boss walking pass behind me from time to time, this is not a very good time to blog. Well, I just want to write about something, even if it is a crappy one.

Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary

2009-04-19T05:25:00.000-07:00

Anyone who loves myth or folklore story would have known of Bloody Mary. Even with no prior knowledge, the name is good enough to intrigue one's curiosity. According to the myth, you would have to stand in front of the mirror, and said 'Bloody Mary' three times, and here you go, Bloody Mary will come to sight.

I called for Bloody Mary. Just once, and bloody hell, I won't ever call for it again.

It was a lovely night, I dressed up nicely, decent make-up which do not make me look fierce, everything was perfect! And we are heading to Skybar for Wen Shin and Xin Yi's 21st birthday celebration. There were just 5 of us, I always thought it's better to keep in small group, cozier and less political conversation.

A long long list of signature cocktail with poectic and bombastic description - Selangor sling, lychee rose, long island etc... I am a good girl, and this was my third glass of cocktail for 21 years. I gave up reading the descirption and just go with my instinct(and I have terrible instinct). Bloody Mary was shouting at me, 'Pick me you bloody human!' Despite all the weird ingredient stated in the menu - pepper, celery, salt, tomato - not one that I personally like. Bloody hell, there goes my 30 bucks. I asked for Bloody Mary.

I got what I asked for. It was indeed Bloody Mary man!!

Well, it certainly wasn't made for my mounth and throat.

Nonetheless, this bloody mary managed to bring a laugh to our gangs. One more extra topic for chit-chatting! It has been quite a while since we last see each other. We chat and craps about random topics. A lot has changed since last time, for good.

For the first hour, we indulged ourselves in the silliness of cam-horing in an absolute chic and cosmopolitan atmosphere. I can actually see the thought bubble coming out from the ladies on the right table - Weirdo, get out of here! That's the thing about being young I think, you are reckless and carefree, never care about making mistake in life, because we believe that we still have a long long long life to make things right again. Youth is about falling down and learning how to stand up, all by yourself.

From the SKY, we landed at Steven's Corner Mamak restaurant. We bumped into few old friends. Nothing much has changed, physically. We chatted, but on a surface level. It's more of a political conversation - hi, how are you there? Oh my you look better now? Are you still studying bla bla bla bla bla...I don't enjoy myself doing it, but I am glad that we are still 'friends'.

Honest and sincere. Two very basic vocab we learnt in primary school, easy to pronuance and understand. But hard to be applied in real life. I promised myself countless time, be honest to yourself and said what you meant only, be sincere to people and stop being a bitch. Heck, I just lied to my dad this morning - I told him I will eat dinner at home, but honestly, I don't want to have anymore fried fish and I don't plan to eat rice at night.

Maybe it's the Bloody Mary, the music of SkyBar, I was very much uplifted, I babbled alot. We had alot of laugh that night, sincerely. It's the strong foundation of friendship keeps us together. Growing up in small town, we were taught to be kind and sincere to people. People back there were pretty straight forwards, no one like a hypocrite. I like you, you can see it on my face;you disgust me, you can see shit on my face when you talk. I thank life for giving me all these, after all, small town doesn't really mean boring place. It's a place full of treasure, waiting for patience people to explore.

Someday, when I am old with wrinkles and white hair, I have a new memory to be nostalgic of while sitting on the couch waiting for my boy to come home and nag him about his porn DVD scattering all over his room.

Ladies of the night
Cam-horing session for the Gents
Stealing other's drink.

The Island of Gem - The hunt for treasure

2009-04-15T05:35:00.000-07:00

"For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of

intelligence, mathematics or maps."
Christopher Columbus

Finally, I am back from my long-anticipated, vacation to Gem Island, Terengganu. It is a small island near to Redang Island, not much people are aware of it. There is 45 rooms in the resort, with very limited facilities. It might not be a 5 star hotel, but the staff certainly have a way of making people feel at home.

I arrived at Marang Jetty, Terengganu at around 7am, and the first thing that come to sight is this amazing sunrise. All the long hours travel and sleepless nights seem to be so insignificance. Mother nature certainly have a way in bringing out the peace in me.

We took a speedy boat to Gem Island. Surprisingly, the journey was shorter than my previous journey to Redang Island. There is no grand majestic lobby there, only a small office-like room, a table for administration work, a shelf on the left side displaying some souvenir and simple daily necessities for sell. The simple architecture of the resort is easily overlooked by the view of the sea, the sound of the wave. I couldn't wait to jump into the sea.

We got our key after a short while. No bell-boy to carry our bulky luggage, only the lady from the admistration office. She insisted on helping me to carry mine in spite of several refusal from me. As I walked pass the aisle, down to my room, I noticed that each room is named with a different 'gem'. I remembered jade, jasper(mainly because of the movie Twilight), crystal. My room is 'pyrite', which I have no idea what gem is that.

My favourite spot of the room: a swing at the room's balcony

All I need for the day was a nice book and my MP3 player. After a hot shower, while waiting for my lunch, I sat on the swing and read my book. I found it hard to concentrate, perhaps I was too tired from the journey. I fell asleep on the swing. I had a good sleep on a swing, yeap, I did! It will be missing it very much.

I spent most of my time in the sea - floating with life jacket, chatting with a 5 years kid in the sea while he showed off to me that he can swim like a jelly fish, catch fish with a bunch of kids, letting the wave to wash over me, snorkeling, feeding the fish with our left-over bread, doing nothing in the sea, staring at handsome half naked dude while feeling jealous of their athelic personalities, peeping at ladies with nice tanned and slim body, and etc etc etc etc etc.

FOOD is like paradise! No complaints, even from my very much picky sister. It was just plain delicious. Even the waiters are decent and amiable. Nice food, nice sceneric, clean sea water, nice service, nice bed, everything is just nice!! What else can you ask for from a paradise?

We were always fed with more-than-enough-food. Despite all the swimming and snorkling, I am still gaining weight. Well, according to Christopher Columbus, you shouldn't use your brain when travelling. So I stop counting and just eat and voila, a whole new heavier Serene!

I manage to spend a quite moment with the sea, just myself, alone. I sat beside the pond where they kept 4 to 5 turtle, with the sea view right of me. I sat on the floor while listening to my MP3. I come to Gem Island with the intention of doing some soul searching, to look back at my own life and decide what I want for my future. This whole internship things has really baffled me. I started to question myself: What do I want to do? Is advertising my call? With my sister bugging me all days long as to what course she should take, it has an effect on me too. Finally, she decided to settle to medicine. It's good. Not because she is going to be a doctor, but because she finally knows what she likes. I am a passion driven person, and I believe strongly in doing what you love.

Sitting there, I don't have the heart to think of all that tiring question. I just sat there, listening to 'I had a dream', staring at the turtle as they swim freely in the pond, enjoying the soft breeze touches my face and body, I rasied my head to look at the sea occasionally. I realised, I am a passion driven person, I should let my heart leads me, do what I love. I t is a simple thing, but somehow I find it hard to apply it. Perhaps I was trapped in the hassle of daily life and society. Writing keeps me on path, and I shall keep on doing that.

While I was sitting there, a story comes into my mind. I am planning on writing it now. And then I shall post it here, for myself. Thanks to baby turtles! You are my inspiration!!

I shouldn't be telling you too much of the Gem Island, as I don't think there are words that can fully describe the awe feeling I had for that Island. I took alot of pictures, I wanted to capture every single pieces of the Island. No matter how many pic I took, I still felt it is not enough. The best memory is kept in my heart, heart is always the best memory keeper...

Here are a few snapshots of Gem Island:

Feeding the kitten with tun a sandwich at Marang Jetty. My sis gave it a egg sandwich initially, I guess kitty is not much of an egg-cat...

Me and big boss: whom sponsor my entire life, including this exploration for Gem!

Sceneric view of Gem Island

Serene and the sea

Simply in love with this pic.

My favourite pic again!!

Barney: I love you, you love me, we are happy family, with great big hug and a kiss from me to you, *****forgotten*****

Stopping by to buy keropok at Terengganu.

So long Gem Island, thanks for the treasure.

Twilight and me

2009-03-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

Finally, the Twilight DVD is out and I bought it. Like many others, I have watched the movies in cinema, read all the books, read the movie review online, log onto forum for Twilight discussion and etc.

Now that I have cooled myself down from all these Twilight Maniac, I pull myself out of the circle and have a clearer overview of these whole Vampire-Human love fantasy.

It is no doubt that every girl do dream of meeting a charming fella like Edward. I had that fantasy too (not very serious lar..), meeting someone with such aggressiveness and yet, with a seductiveness that is irrevocably irresistible. It is my fantasy and at times I might mix it with reality, and then, I would have to really whack myself to wake myself up. Wishing for something that you will never get is painful. Don’t get me wrong, I am not those people who lives in their own little perfect fantasy and ignorance of the real world.

Okay, so what I am really trying to pinpoint is the power of writing. Stephanie Mayer captivated readers heart with her own version of vampire-human love story. My 3 months internship in advertising agency has really got me ponder about what I want for my life. I don’t think see myself happy as an Account Executive, writing briefs and meeting the clients the whole time. 3 years before, I thought I would be thrilled by the challenge of Advertising world. Maybe it is still too early to make judgment.

You know when you met someone you like, your heart thumps real fast, waiting to come out of your body, and your body is burning inside and slowly you can feel the sweat on your palm. That’s how I feel everything I am writing. Honestly, I don’t think any guys have made me that excited as I am reading a good book or writing. (My dear CK, if you are reading this, don’t me jealous k, you’re still my no1 ever). I am constantly awed by the ability of a readers to create a world that is beyond my imagination, beyond my reach, it's the best thing in life for me.

I get emotional real easy, seriously. Hence, I might as well put it into my own advantages. Perhaps I should start writing, despite my sucky vocab and English. I gave up writing a while ago, for some reason. I thought I would never be a good writer. Experience has thought me writing is not about your language, it is about your desire to express, to create a world that is beyond everything, your longing to find yourself in words…

I will keep on writing, for myself.

The destination

2009-03-16T19:24:00.000-07:00

I’m back from Port Dickson!!
To be frank, the place isn’t so great and fun. The sea is seriously polluted, you won’t feel like swimming in it, or even set your foot on the sand. It is rather pathetic to see this. I still remember ‘Port Dickson’ is our favorite ‘destination’ for our primary kiddy essay.

One day, my father brings me and my whole family to Port Dickson for a picnic. My sister and I were so happy bla bla bla bla.

Back then I have no idea where the heck PD is..haha..seriously. And yet, it is stated in my essay. Okay, maybe I should say I had no idea what essay is. To me, essay was whatever the teacher asked me to write, and the more words and bombastic vocab you put in, the highest your mark would be, and the happier my Mummy will be.

Back to my trip.

Despite the sucky destination, but I have had a lot of fun throughout the whole trip. I went there with my uncle and his two naughty little monkeys. Let’s called them Monkey B and Monkey Z. Monkey Z is rather close to (that’s because he is also a little blood sucker – always nag me to buy things for me, which I usually do). I spent most of my time playing with him.

People always said it is the journey that matters not the destination. And through this trip, I have truly experienced the meaning. The destination is suck, but I am happy. If only I can apply this simple theory in my daily life – enjoy the present and do not think of the result. However, I found it rather hard, or perhaps I am
just a stubborn person who is afraid of changes. I care about the end result, I care about my mistake, I care about being bad, I care about being a clumsy person…I care about not being a perfect person.

I understand the simple theory, and why can’t apply it to my own life?

Addicted to vampire

2008-11-11T05:23:00.000-08:00

New semester is tiring and pack with assignments and useless presentation again.

Sigh.

I am really not in the mood for assignments now, especially LAW. Worst, I have one cyberlaw assignment dued tomorrow and I have no clue of how to get this freaking stupid law assignment done. God, have some mercy one me.

Can't really blame anyone for my loss of mood for assignment, well, I made myself addicted to this over handsome charming dazzling vampire..haha..TWILIGHT. Eric saw me reading the book today, and he said he watched the trailer and it wasn't great. I haven't watch it so can't really say anything. I told him the movie is such a big thingy not because of the production of the movie, but of the novel and the author, plus, who can resist a vampire-human love story? It is like the kind of love to die for and also, very impractical in real life. Nonetheless, I think being able to hold on to this little beautiful story can be really fascinating.

I slept through the whole evening, imaging how tired and also...piggy can I be. The first thing I did when I woke was to log onto youtube and check out the trailer. I did not finish watching it, I am only on my half way finishing the novel, I wouldn't want to spoil the excitement by learning the plot so soon. Well, Eric was right. The movie is kind of a let down. Edward wasn't how I would picture it. It is said in the novel that he is beautiful and his eyes are dazzling and he is perfectly charming. Well, as it turns out, Edward of the movie looks rather cold and cruel to me...and Bella was more of less the same, normal looking girl.

It might be to early to make judgement now. Wait till and see!! But personally I think I would prefer the novel more than the movie...I always do...

Love letters

2008-09-25T07:43:00.000-07:00

Before I come back for a vacation at Kedah, I asked someone to send me an e-mail every night and he does keep his promise. ^_^ I am always touched by his letters(letter sound better than email). He once asked, why I never reply his letter and there he is, compulsory to send me a letter every night. Hehe...here is my answer, because I am waiting to write you one letter that will make you remember it for the rest of your life!

Dear Chun Kit,

Everything in Kedah is different now, it is a sad kind of different and sometime I would rather not to think about it. It makes me sad, and I really don't know how to tell others about the feeling, not much people will see it the way I do. Changes are hard, but it is inevitable. I should think less of myself and start thinking of others.

I do miss you crazily everyday and I can't wait to read your letters every night, it was beautifully written by your heart. Most of the time, I feel touched by your love, I had no idea that someone can love me that much, even more than me loving myself.

I love you dearly. I know to build a future together is not easy, but I hope we would find a way together and have our happily ever after eventually.

Love,
Serene

And this is the letter from my loved one.

Dear Serene,

How was the dinner? Is the bride & groom beautiful? I bet You & Me would look better! hehe in a near future..Today i woke up at 8am to get my grandfathers mercedes fixed near the sunway university, quite far..It was a scary experience though. HeHe . What did you do the whole day? I msged you a few times, but there was no reply..I thought that something has happened..hmm..Got new drama watch ar you?

So wish I could have gone back with you now. It was a dream come true that time, to wake up every morning and see your face. The experience is really really wonderful! and going to the small shopping mall with you of course..and sleeping next to you in the living room. I follow you back k next semester after my family everything has settled down.

Bibi i miss you, come back to me as soon as possible k! Love you

Yours Forever,
Chun Kit

A memorable night

2008-09-24T10:39:00.000-07:00

Today, or should I say yesterday was a great day!^-^

I have long forgotten how happy I can be just by crapping with old friends, teasing each other with no fear of offending people. I miss my good old time with my secondary friends.

Han Pei called me suddenly today, inviting me and some of my other friends who are currently in holidays now, to his big sis's wedding dinner. Hahaha...the funny part is, even our parents are going to the wedding dinner(that's what happen in a small town, a wedding and half of the town are invited), so, there is no reason to say no. Well, to be honest, our intentions were about the food and of course, an opportunity for us to gather around.

We talked, we laughed, we surprised Woon Sern with a birthday cake(more of a well...muffin).HAHA..we just grab whatever we can find in 7-11.

I am really grateful that I still have friends like that, someone that knows my history, know who LIM PEI YINN is...and someone that makes me feel I don't have to wear mask, and that can say anything with no worries...

It was a great and memorable night.

Message in a Bottle

2008-09-22T00:46:00.000-07:00

My Dearest Catherine,

I miss you, my darling, as I always do, but today is especially hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that our life together. I can almost feel you beside me as I write this letter, and I can smell the scent of wildflowers that always remind me of you. But at this moment, these things give me no pleasure. Your visits have been coming less often, and I feel sometimes as if the greatest part of who I am is slowly slipping away.

I am trying, though. At night when I am alone, I call for you, and whether my ache seems to be the greatest, you still seem to find a way to return to me. Last night, in my dreams, I saw you on the pier near Wrightsville beach. The wind was blowing through your hair, and your eyes held the fading sunlight. I am stuck as I see you leaning against the rail. You are beautiful, I think as I see you, a vision that I can never find in anyone else. I slowly begin to walk toward you, and when you finally turn to me, I notice that others have been watching you as well. “Do you know her?” they ask me in jealous whispers, and as you smile at me, I simply answer with the truth. “Better than my own heart.”

I stop when I reach you and take you in my arms. I long for this moment more than any other. It is what I live for, and when you return my embrace, I give myself over to this moment, at peace once again.

I raise my hand and gently touch your cheek and you tilt your head and close your eyes. My hands are hard an your skin is soft, and I wonder for a moment if you’ll pull back, but of course you don’t. You never have, and it is at times like this that I know what my purpose in life.

I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be.

But then, as always, the mist starts to form as we stand close to one another. It is a distant fog that rises from the horizon, and I find that I grow fearful as it approaches. It slowly creeps in, enveloping the world around us, fencing us in as if to prevent escape. Like a rolling cloud, it blankets everything, closing, until there is nothing left but the two of us.

I feel my throat begin to close and my eyes well up with tears because I know it is time for you to go. The look you give me at that moment haunts me. I feel your sadness and my own loneliness, and the ache in my heart that had been silent for only a short time grows stronger as you release me. And then you spread your arms and steps back into the fog because it is your place and not mine. I long to go with you, but your only response is to shake your head because we both know is impossible.

And I watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. I find myself staining to remember everything about this moment, everything about you. But soon, akways too soon, your image vanishes and the fog rolls back to its faraway place and I am alone on the pier and I do not care what others think as I bow my head and cry and cry and cry.

Garrett.

By Nicholas Sparks

Living in a story

2008-09-21T05:17:00.000-07:00

A story of others always seem nicer than my own story. It is a fantasy I long for, it is a hope that I breathe in, and sometimes, it seem so impossible.

I love reading a fiction or watching a drama, not only because I get to indulge myself in these fictional world, but also it is time consuming activities, hence it would last longer(at least I thought so).

To decide which book I would like to read might sounds like an easy job. There are several criteria I would consider, the author, bestselling, the cover design etc. I tend to stick to the same authors, which make things much more easier for me. The beginning of each novel is always 'boring'...but somehow it managed to hold my breath and told me to read on. The good things about reading a novel it allows you to imagine the scene in your own way, and how the words can touch your heart and make you want to reread the line over and over again(if it is a drama it might be slightly troublesome to keep rewinding the scene).

Always, as much as I am eager to finish the novel and to know the ending, it always feel hard when I know I have finally finish reading a novel, as if it is the end of my fantasy. Sound silly huh? I find it hard to start another novel..hehe...as if it is the best story ever and I could never find a better story. I know I am an idiot.

I just finish watching a taiwan drama-FATED TO LOVE YOU. Honestly, some of the story doesn't really make sense, angle is not that spectacular, limited scene I would say. However, the plot is sweet. I am a girl k...I love watching romantic drama and how the actors make my heart beat with them, how my heart felt stabbed when the girl rejected his love. It is a good fantasy for those who still believe in prince charming and happily ever after...

Living in another story can be a good escape from the reality. Well...after all, it is only in my brain.

Seriously

2008-09-03T11:59:00.000-07:00

Seriously, no more last minute cramming for exam anymore.

Seriously, I must keep my promise.

Seriously, I have been telling myself that since well, Form 1?

Seriously, can someone please rewind the time for me?PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Coffee is my medicine

2008-09-02T05:07:00.000-07:00

Exam is coming, like usual, i drink coffee every night to stay awake. I wonder do I really need coffee to stay awake and to help me concentrate? Sometimes I think it is just a psychological thinking that I NEED COFFEE!! Whatever, I am drinking dark mocha now.:-)

I still remember my SPM-hell-life. I drink coffee everyday and it was like medicine to me. I didn't enjoy it at all. All I knew is that I must not sleep and I have to study. Really pity myself...haha.

Now, I still need coffee to stay awake. And to certain extend, I think coffee helps me to calm my nerve, allowing me to cool down, ponder and inspire me. Coffee, I love you.:-)

Sometimes I daydream of me owning a coffee shop in a small town, with a small library, selling both books and some cakes(cheese cake!!). People can drop by to chat with friends, to read, and to look for inspiration! Someday, it will no longer be just a dream. :-)

Finally...

2008-09-01T08:30:00.000-07:00

...I have my own blog. I hope this not my another 3 minutes thingy again. :-)