Page of green romance

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you
will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies

I was childish, ignorant, easily manipulated, ridiculous, silly and all the pathetic words you can think of.

Looking back at myself, I can’t stop thinking how silly was I, silly in a good way though. Fell in and out of crush, sweet and bitter, blessed and embarrassed, foolish and rational, fantasy and reality. What a good way to spend my adolescence!

My definition of ‘love’ evolves as I move forward the path of life.

Standard Six

I had my first crush in Standard Six and I will never forget about it. Well, they said the first cut is the deepest (there is no cut actually). He was in front of me in class, a badminton player representing my school for a state (region?) competition. The badminton tournament was held in my school, hence, as the host, our school has the advantage of bigger cheering groups. The class went for the match. Silly me, I was mesmerized by him. After the match, I couldn’t get his image out of my mind and here I thought something was wrong with me. I was smart enough to figure out the answer – I had a crush on a boy, smart huh?
A 12 years old Serene, what can I really do? Peeping at him in class all the time, my heart skipped a beat when my friends talked about him, feeling uneasy when other girls (specially cute girls) approach him, blushed whenever he talked to me, remembered every single words he said to me, tried to impress him with my new hair band and a lot more highly private and confidential issues.
And the best part, I thought I was doing a great job in masking my crush, in fact the whole class knew. Gosh, don’t mention that. I never confess to him, I thought it was not needed. I am glad that I did not! Hah, guess I am not that silly as I thought.
After we graduated from primary school, we lost contact, and that’s the end of my first silly crush.

Form 2

A hurtful and embarrassing one.
I don’t know where the heck this guy get my ICQ (it was still very popular back then) and I don’t what’s wrong with me either, I fell for his words. We chatted through phone and ICQ, and that’s all. He confessed to me few weeks later. Seriously, I couldn’t believe that either. Like I said, I was really pathetic and desperate. Hey, the first time a guy confessed to me, my heart literally stopped functioning when he told me that. I was never his ‘official girlfriend’, we just flirted through phone and ICQ. Even to date I have not met him in real person. My parents thought I was still too young to have a handphone, hence I have to wake up in the middle of the night and called him secretly with my house phone. Pathetic huh?
The whole thing ended in few months, he initiated it. Looking back, I have got no reason to be heartbroken but it did sting for a while. I am good in protecting myself emotionally.

Form 4
Thanks to ICQ again. Apparently my adolescence’s love life evolved around the net.
It was purely platonic at first, we got in touch because of some tuition issue. He was from a different school. We started to SMS each other (yeah, finally, I can do things behind my parents’ back). We shared common interests in books, life and some other things. We basically SMSed each other every hour, except for night time.
After a year, we see no reason for not being together, and voila, my first relationship. I was showered with sweet promises and compliments the whole time, and I thought we are two mature teenagers whom would stick together until forever. I was very much attracted to his maturity and his passion for life.
It ended after 3 months. I was wounded and embarrassed by my own ignorance. I was so blinded by the cupid and overlook the apparent problems between the two of us.

Now
I think it will be very ignorant to say I know the meaning of love at my age. There are umpteen definitions for love out there and they are all very subjective. It's an emotion people felt at heart and beyonds all languages. To me, it's most important to cherish what I had now, to fully live the moment. I have learned to cherish those I love, be tolerance and patience, and lastly, love them unconditionally.

I never regretted for any of it (though I am rather embarrassed at some point), in fact, I am delighted that it happens :)

I cherish these memory of my life, now and forever.

A yellow friend tells me...

Other men said they have seen angels,
But I have seen thee
And thou art enough.
~ by G. Moore ~

Second day of my precious holidays, I promise myself to do something constructive instead of idling around my house after wasted my first off day on basically nothing.

A very nice little bird woke me up at 10 in the morning and I am grateful that I did not trash my handphone on the floor. Weekends usually mean my turn for cleaning the house. I swept the floor, mop it, washed the clothes and bedsheet, and wiped the furniture. Here, I decidedly swear to myself, I will not become a housewife in the future, even if my future husband threatens to divorce me!

Chun Kit arrived later in the morning. Ever since our internship started, we had been spending our weekends on my place together. I never told him how much I enjoy his presence here. Even with him just sit there and play with computer for whole day, seeing him there is all I could ask for.

My dad went out early in the morning, and after all the extreme-household-chore, I was starving!! Out of nowhere, my stomach told me she wants to eat egg tart!! The bright sunny creamy yellow-orange egg tart! I called my dad, asking him to pick up some egg tart for me on his way home.

“I am reaching the car park already, you eat bread lar…”

Okay, no egg tart for my stomach.

The rest of my day went on with no thunder. I watched some Hong Kong drama on DVD, online and went for a swim with Chun Kit.

I am starting to enjoy my moment with the water. For some reasons, I never find being in a large pool of water is safe. I think it’s the insecurity and my inability to lose some grips. There are times when I feel like letting go of the floating board I was holding, and to be freed in the water. Chun Kit likes to float on the water and just stare at the tranquil blue sky while listening to the serene sound of water.Sometimes, a peaceful moment is all it needs to keep a person sane.

We went for dinner with auntie’s family in a hawker stall. As usual, Chun Kit will join us for dinner. After half plate of fried tom yam noodles, and some fried chicken, my stomach was still not very much satisfied. Sigh, after one week hardship of dieting, I was baffled by my stupid stomach. I went to order some fishball. As I turned around and walked back to our able from the fishball stall, I saw a silly guy stood in front of me with an egg tart.

“Why…” a speechless Serene trying to understand.

“I bought for my mom you dumbass.” Chun Kit said sarcastically.

I grinned like a little girl.

To be honest, the egg tart is not very nice in taste. Nonetheless, it tells me I am one lucky blessed girl :)

Face Creator

“It's beauty that captures your attention;

personality which captures your heart.”

After 5 days of waking up grudgingly six in the morning, while my logical thinking and lazy bugs battling inside my brain (Logic triumps big fat lazy bugs always), this is how my millions investment look like at the end of weekdays:


I picked up make-up 3 years ago, after I started my life as college student. Ever since then, I begin to adopt each of them one by one. Sometimes when I feel merciful, I adopt bunches at one time :)

I can never forget the first time I put on make-up, all by myself. It was unspeakably ugly. Well people say practise make perfect and here I am!! Thanks to countless YouTube Guru, beauty bloggers and tons of girlie talk with BFF, now, I can walk out of the house with a decent looking make-up look.

I have make-up base, liquid foundation, loose powder, pressed powder, 2-way powder, mascara, tons of eyeshadow in single casing, palette, blusher, highlighter, bronzer, lipstick, lipgloss, lip balm, shimmer lipstick, lipliner, pencil eyeliner, gel eyeliner, liquid eyeliner, mousse form cheek colour, dark-eye concealer, eye primer, powder brush, eyeshadow brush, concealer brush, blusher brush, eyeliner brush, and et cetera. And you know what? I have more to come!!

This is what will happen when you have 8 hours of free time in office, you log on to beauty blogs and forum, get tempted by the cosmetic items own by others, your desire and foolishness overwhelmed your logical thinking and it starts to fool you into believing that you have plenty of money to be spared on few extra must-get-high-grail-items. As a result, with few clicks, voila, your baby will be delivered to you doorstep!

Why am I so crazy over this make-up thingy? Why most girls are insanely addicted to beauty products? Why is the beauty and cosmetic products earning billions and the digit is definitely soaring high up. Everyone knows the answer. All these colourful item, is literally face creator, giving us a better outer looking.

I look sooooo different before and after 'touch up' by a professional Japanese make-up artist who is totally adorable!

I bet you can tell which is before and which is after...I myself have never seen me looking so sharp. It took him one hour to finish the whole look, and it was only a simple day outing look. He taught me how to apply the eyeshadow and and concealer and bla bla bla to archive the look, nonetheless, after several efforst, I ended up looking like being punch on the eyes, I learn to accept the fact I am not a born make-up artist.

In fact, I myself don't really bother about how I look before and after make-up. I just put it on for the sake of the process. Imagine painting your face with brushes and colours, wow, that's sound fun! Okay, maybe not so fun for certain people.

When I have make-up on my face, it feels like I am secure, as if I am not who I am really am deep inside. I tend to be more careful with my body movement, I tend to hold my tears better when, I tend to look alert while actually my mind is always in blurry state. Or maybe I just need an excuse to not-to-be-myself for a while.

I have totally overspent my budget on cosmetic items for the past two months. So, listen here girl, you are officially banned from going 10 meters near any cosmetic counters for the coming few months(or maybe just 1 month). Any violation of rule and regulation may subject to further action of the 'Cosmetic-Burning Association'.