Face Creator

“It's beauty that captures your attention;

personality which captures your heart.”

After 5 days of waking up grudgingly six in the morning, while my logical thinking and lazy bugs battling inside my brain (Logic triumps big fat lazy bugs always), this is how my millions investment look like at the end of weekdays:


I picked up make-up 3 years ago, after I started my life as college student. Ever since then, I begin to adopt each of them one by one. Sometimes when I feel merciful, I adopt bunches at one time :)

I can never forget the first time I put on make-up, all by myself. It was unspeakably ugly. Well people say practise make perfect and here I am!! Thanks to countless YouTube Guru, beauty bloggers and tons of girlie talk with BFF, now, I can walk out of the house with a decent looking make-up look.

I have make-up base, liquid foundation, loose powder, pressed powder, 2-way powder, mascara, tons of eyeshadow in single casing, palette, blusher, highlighter, bronzer, lipstick, lipgloss, lip balm, shimmer lipstick, lipliner, pencil eyeliner, gel eyeliner, liquid eyeliner, mousse form cheek colour, dark-eye concealer, eye primer, powder brush, eyeshadow brush, concealer brush, blusher brush, eyeliner brush, and et cetera. And you know what? I have more to come!!

This is what will happen when you have 8 hours of free time in office, you log on to beauty blogs and forum, get tempted by the cosmetic items own by others, your desire and foolishness overwhelmed your logical thinking and it starts to fool you into believing that you have plenty of money to be spared on few extra must-get-high-grail-items. As a result, with few clicks, voila, your baby will be delivered to you doorstep!

Why am I so crazy over this make-up thingy? Why most girls are insanely addicted to beauty products? Why is the beauty and cosmetic products earning billions and the digit is definitely soaring high up. Everyone knows the answer. All these colourful item, is literally face creator, giving us a better outer looking.

I look sooooo different before and after 'touch up' by a professional Japanese make-up artist who is totally adorable!

I bet you can tell which is before and which is after...I myself have never seen me looking so sharp. It took him one hour to finish the whole look, and it was only a simple day outing look. He taught me how to apply the eyeshadow and and concealer and bla bla bla to archive the look, nonetheless, after several efforst, I ended up looking like being punch on the eyes, I learn to accept the fact I am not a born make-up artist.

In fact, I myself don't really bother about how I look before and after make-up. I just put it on for the sake of the process. Imagine painting your face with brushes and colours, wow, that's sound fun! Okay, maybe not so fun for certain people.

When I have make-up on my face, it feels like I am secure, as if I am not who I am really am deep inside. I tend to be more careful with my body movement, I tend to hold my tears better when, I tend to look alert while actually my mind is always in blurry state. Or maybe I just need an excuse to not-to-be-myself for a while.

I have totally overspent my budget on cosmetic items for the past two months. So, listen here girl, you are officially banned from going 10 meters near any cosmetic counters for the coming few months(or maybe just 1 month). Any violation of rule and regulation may subject to further action of the 'Cosmetic-Burning Association'.

Creation

Creation
The divine act by which, according to various religious
and philosophical traditions,
the world was brought into existence.

If I am given the power to create, the permission to create, I will create a 'Serene'.

It's more of like my desired projection to the world, my secretive side :)

I have my own definition for the 'perfect' personality, and I often try to achieve that flawless image. However, things that stay inside one's mind can be very different from what are shown to the world. Our mind is a very dangerous thing as it can basically do everything. I can persuade my mind to believe I am a sexy hot slim lady while in fact I can stand on glasses and shatter it into pieces - provided that I shut down the 'self-consciousness' in my brain.

Every murder cases start with a thought.

If I can create 'myself', it will be such:

1. A painter
I have always admire those people who can draw and paint well. Through drawing, emotion and ideas can be portrayed in an artistic way. Though with the invention of camera, you can capture all the wonderful moments instantly and perfectly. However, to me it lacks of the 'passion for life' element. Drawing takes time and effort, and heart too. A piece of drawing might not be as perfect as a photography, but I will remember the image in my heart, forever.
Sadly, I real bad in coordinating the perspective and the relative size of a picture. I will stick to camera now..T_T

2. Evil
I love Disney Princess, Ariel from mermaid the most, but I am not a believer of sweet and lovey dovey. Yea, I am evil. I always have unimaginable sickening thoughts tingling and hiding in my mind. My civilized and educated background had taught me to be kind and amiable to humanity and the society. If I were given a chance to unleash the beast inside me, how would it be? Those who have read or watched 'Lord of the Flies' would know.
Is it possible that the beast inside me might actually be a fierce and fury beast with a big heart? Guess I would never know.

3. A Traveller
我听见 我忘记; 我看见 我记住; 我做 我了解。
I hear and I forget; I see and I remember; I do and I understand.
I strongly agree with the above proverb. You have to see and feel it yourself to fully understand a new expierence. 'I' is only part of 'LIFE'. I wouldn't want to stuck with my own little circle for my whole life. I am an eager and greedy person. I want explore every aspect of the world. I want to know about everything.
I am always awed by those who have the courage to travel overseas alone. Travelling alone give me the freedom I yearn and also the space to wonder. Nonetheless, with great blessing, I have used to depend on those surrounding me, my dad, my mom, my sis, my grandma, my boyfriend and etc. I am afraid of leaving without them.
Someday, I will pull out great courage, and steps my foot to the world all by myself!!

4. A Master of Her Own Hands & Legs
A Serene that can walk on a smooth and flat floor, without spraining her ankle.
I am suck with my own hands and legs. Sometimes I feel like they don't belong to me as if they will unite and form a secretive association and betray me anytime.
Go away traitors, new Serene don't need you!!

5. A Fighter
I want to be a fighter that never give up!! Keep striving forward for my vision and hold on to all the obstacles. It hurts to trip over a big giant sharp stone, and the scar probably will be there forever. Should I keep walking or sit there, moan and cry, waiting for my prince charming to rescue me, or should I turn back and go back to where I was?
Everyone know the right answer. And I yearn for the strength to follow the right answer.

6. Most importantly, Honest
A person that is honest with her heart and have no fear of striving for what she long for.
Often, I find myself shadowed with others' perception and social norms. I ain't a saint. Most of the time, I care too much of what others think, and in the end, I followed what people think is right.
New Serene, listen, you've got no one to care but your own self.

The lists go on and on. It will never end. I am not as 'perfect' as the creation of Serene in my mind, not even close I guess. Nonetheless, the Serene that is typing now, is feeling happy of what she is able to do everyday:)

A Job Interview

Okay, breath Serene, it is over.

I have taken a shower, listen to soft music, and my blood pressure is dropping. I am able to think again.

Maybe I exaggerate a little, fine, A LOT.

I guess I did average for the interview. I am not especially impressed with myself. I lost Janet(my interviewer) for few times. Here questions really got me thinking.

1. Tell me about your vision.
2. When you are old and laying on the bed, what would you like to look back at?
3. What's weakness?
4. What do you think will be the biggest challenge in your future?
5. What do you think of winning?
6. In what ways would you like to influence people in future?
7. How do you manage deadline?
8. Why would you want to join 95% Academy?

I can't be sure of how to reply her. It was just so unexpected. I scanned through my messy brain to look for the 'powerful' answer. Nonetheless, I got confused between nerve A and nerve Z, you can imagine what happened.

Janet gave me some comments on my mistakes. She did not even look at my result! Hahaha!! She was hoping I can join them for full time, but it is impossible, I need to at least get a degree. My dad would straggle me if I don't.

It would be good if I can join 95% Academy as a part time trainee, to gain more experience and also meet inspiring people. Speaking of inspiring people, I have met several people in my office, they have shown the other side of life, which I have never seen.

I always feel there is a lesson in everyone's story, even the seemingly ordinary people :)

A Crappy Mind

23 April 2009, Thursday, 7pm, at 95% Advertising Academy. My first job interview.

I am not hunting for a job, at least not in the coming 1 year.

I go for it anyway, who knows I might secure myself with a job in the future? Janet from 95% text me and asked me to go for an interview.

I saw this book when I was browsing through Times bookstore.
They Don't Teach Corporate in College by Alexandra Levit.

When straight-A student Alexandra Levit graduated from college, she was hell-bent on skipping up New York City’s corporate ladder. But after six months on the job, Levit was so stressed out that she was ready to ditch the business world completely and head to law school. Eventually, by sticking around and paying attention to the few people around her who weren’t dropping from stress-induced coronaries, Levit developed many of the qualities crucial to staying sane and building a career. By her mid-twenties, she had been promoted four times.

I knew I had to read this book! I was quite skeptical of self-development books, never really thought it might help. You see, I don't believe you can learn people skill through reading a book. And now, I would have to change my perception. At the end of the day, I might not be able to fully comprehend and apply every things from the book. I am hoping it might lead to new discovery...of the corporate world or myself.

I am reading it before my interview, and it really got into my nerves. Frankly, I didn't do much preparation apart from the make-up and clothes! I am girl, what do you expect??! Here are a few questions I have sorted out:

Tell me about yourself.
Sane Serene
I come from a small town in Kedah and moved to KL 3 years ago. Back in my place, people don't really speak in English, Chinese and dialect was our main language. Mastering English doesn't come easily to me. In Form 1, as I was reading through a biography of an author, I came across the word 'passion'. I look for the meaning with the old way - dictionary. Ever since then, it is my belief. I am a passion-driven person. I hold strong passion in my life, and with that, nothing will stop me for striving forward.

Insane Serene
If I tell you who I am, would you believe me?
If you would, okay, I am actually a secret agent from FBI USA sent here for a highly confidential mission.
If you wouldn't, no point telling me about myself.

What's your worst quality?
Sane Serene
I would have to say I am a super workaholic. Once I get started on a project, I will not want to stop until it's over. And I am always over-concentrated. Often I would neglected things around me when I am focusing on one issue. My best friend knew me so well. For instance, when I am reading or doing something else, she would actually tell others - save your energy from talking to her, she goes into the book already.

Insane Serene
Well, even I do have one, I won't tell you k. Next question.

Okay, I give up. I really don't know what am I typing now. It took me forever to reach here.

My mascara-ed eyelashes are feeling very heavy on my lid, and my mind is blur. I mean it literally, blur. I can see this white blurry space in front of me. And we my boss walking pass behind me from time to time, this is not a very good time to blog. Well, I just want to write about something, even if it is a crappy one.

Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary

Anyone who loves myth or folklore story would have known of Bloody Mary. Even with no prior knowledge, the name is good enough to intrigue one's curiosity. According to the myth, you would have to stand in front of the mirror, and said 'Bloody Mary' three times, and here you go, Bloody Mary will come to sight.

I called for Bloody Mary. Just once, and bloody hell, I won't ever call for it again.

It was a lovely night, I dressed up nicely, decent make-up which do not make me look fierce, everything was perfect! And we are heading to Skybar for Wen Shin and Xin Yi's 21st birthday celebration. There were just 5 of us, I always thought it's better to keep in small group, cozier and less political conversation.

A long long list of signature cocktail with poectic and bombastic description - Selangor sling, lychee rose, long island etc... I am a good girl, and this was my third glass of cocktail for 21 years. I gave up reading the descirption and just go with my instinct(and I have terrible instinct). Bloody Mary was shouting at me, 'Pick me you bloody human!' Despite all the weird ingredient stated in the menu - pepper, celery, salt, tomato - not one that I personally like. Bloody hell, there goes my 30 bucks. I asked for Bloody Mary.

I got what I asked for. It was indeed Bloody Mary man!!

Well, it certainly wasn't made for my mounth and throat.

Nonetheless, this bloody mary managed to bring a laugh to our gangs. One more extra topic for chit-chatting! It has been quite a while since we last see each other. We chat and craps about random topics. A lot has changed since last time, for good.

For the first hour, we indulged ourselves in the silliness of cam-horing in an absolute chic and cosmopolitan atmosphere. I can actually see the thought bubble coming out from the ladies on the right table - Weirdo, get out of here! That's the thing about being young I think, you are reckless and carefree, never care about making mistake in life, because we believe that we still have a long long long life to make things right again. Youth is about falling down and learning how to stand up, all by yourself.

From the SKY, we landed at Steven's Corner Mamak restaurant. We bumped into few old friends. Nothing much has changed, physically. We chatted, but on a surface level. It's more of a political conversation - hi, how are you there? Oh my you look better now? Are you still studying bla bla bla bla bla...I don't enjoy myself doing it, but I am glad that we are still 'friends'.

Honest and sincere. Two very basic vocab we learnt in primary school, easy to pronuance and understand. But hard to be applied in real life. I promised myself countless time, be honest to yourself and said what you meant only, be sincere to people and stop being a bitch. Heck, I just lied to my dad this morning - I told him I will eat dinner at home, but honestly, I don't want to have anymore fried fish and I don't plan to eat rice at night.

Maybe it's the Bloody Mary, the music of SkyBar, I was very much uplifted, I babbled alot. We had alot of laugh that night, sincerely. It's the strong foundation of friendship keeps us together. Growing up in small town, we were taught to be kind and sincere to people. People back there were pretty straight forwards, no one like a hypocrite. I like you, you can see it on my face;you disgust me, you can see shit on my face when you talk. I thank life for giving me all these, after all, small town doesn't really mean boring place. It's a place full of treasure, waiting for patience people to explore.

Someday, when I am old with wrinkles and white hair, I have a new memory to be nostalgic of while sitting on the couch waiting for my boy to come home and nag him about his porn DVD scattering all over his room.

Ladies of the night
Cam-horing session for the Gents
Stealing other's drink.

The Island of Gem - The hunt for treasure

"For the execution of the voyage to the Indies, I did not make use of

intelligence, mathematics or maps."
Christopher Columbus

Finally, I am back from my long-anticipated, vacation to Gem Island, Terengganu. It is a small island near to Redang Island, not much people are aware of it. There is 45 rooms in the resort, with very limited facilities. It might not be a 5 star hotel, but the staff certainly have a way of making people feel at home.


I arrived at Marang Jetty, Terengganu at around 7am, and the first thing that come to sight is this amazing sunrise. All the long hours travel and sleepless nights seem to be so insignificance. Mother nature certainly have a way in bringing out the peace in me.

We took a speedy boat to Gem Island. Surprisingly, the journey was shorter than my previous journey to Redang Island. There is no grand majestic lobby there, only a small office-like room, a table for administration work, a shelf on the left side displaying some souvenir and simple daily necessities for sell. The simple architecture of the resort is easily overlooked by the view of the sea, the sound of the wave. I couldn't wait to jump into the sea.

We got our key after a short while. No bell-boy to carry our bulky luggage, only the lady from the admistration office. She insisted on helping me to carry mine in spite of several refusal from me. As I walked pass the aisle, down to my room, I noticed that each room is named with a different 'gem'. I remembered jade, jasper(mainly because of the movie Twilight), crystal. My room is 'pyrite', which I have no idea what gem is that.

My favourite spot of the room: a swing at the room's balcony




All I need for the day was a nice book and my MP3 player. After a hot shower, while waiting for my lunch, I sat on the swing and read my book. I found it hard to concentrate, perhaps I was too tired from the journey. I fell asleep on the swing. I had a good sleep on a swing, yeap, I did! It will be missing it very much.

I spent most of my time in the sea - floating with life jacket, chatting with a 5 years kid in the sea while he showed off to me that he can swim like a jelly fish, catch fish with a bunch of kids, letting the wave to wash over me, snorkeling, feeding the fish with our left-over bread, doing nothing in the sea, staring at handsome half naked dude while feeling jealous of their athelic personalities, peeping at ladies with nice tanned and slim body, and etc etc etc etc etc.

FOOD is like paradise! No complaints, even from my very much picky sister. It was just plain delicious. Even the waiters are decent and amiable. Nice food, nice sceneric, clean sea water, nice service, nice bed, everything is just nice!! What else can you ask for from a paradise?


We were always fed with more-than-enough-food. Despite all the swimming and snorkling, I am still gaining weight. Well, according to Christopher Columbus, you shouldn't use your brain when travelling. So I stop counting and just eat and voila, a whole new heavier Serene!


I manage to spend a quite moment with the sea, just myself, alone. I sat beside the pond where they kept 4 to 5 turtle, with the sea view right of me. I sat on the floor while listening to my MP3. I come to Gem Island with the intention of doing some soul searching, to look back at my own life and decide what I want for my future. This whole internship things has really baffled me. I started to question myself: What do I want to do? Is advertising my call? With my sister bugging me all days long as to what course she should take, it has an effect on me too. Finally, she decided to settle to medicine. It's good. Not because she is going to be a doctor, but because she finally knows what she likes. I am a passion driven person, and I believe strongly in doing what you love.

Sitting there, I don't have the heart to think of all that tiring question. I just sat there, listening to 'I had a dream', staring at the turtle as they swim freely in the pond, enjoying the soft breeze touches my face and body, I rasied my head to look at the sea occasionally. I realised, I am a passion driven person, I should let my heart leads me, do what I love. I t is a simple thing, but somehow I find it hard to apply it. Perhaps I was trapped in the hassle of daily life and society. Writing keeps me on path, and I shall keep on doing that.


While I was sitting there, a story comes into my mind. I am planning on writing it now. And then I shall post it here, for myself. Thanks to baby turtles! You are my inspiration!!






I shouldn't be telling you too much of the Gem Island, as I don't think there are words that can fully describe the awe feeling I had for that Island. I took alot of pictures, I wanted to capture every single pieces of the Island. No matter how many pic I took, I still felt it is not enough. The best memory is kept in my heart, heart is always the best memory keeper...

Here are a few snapshots of Gem Island:

Feeding the kitten with tun a sandwich at Marang Jetty. My sis gave it a egg sandwich initially, I guess kitty is not much of an egg-cat...

Me and big boss: whom sponsor my entire life, including this exploration for Gem!

Sceneric view of Gem Island

Serene and the sea

Simply in love with this pic.

My favourite pic again!!

Barney: I love you, you love me, we are happy family, with great big hug and a kiss from me to you, *****forgotten*****

Stopping by to buy keropok at Terengganu.


So long Gem Island, thanks for the treasure.