Rice Dumpling

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha XD

Finally I know how to wrap rice dumpling!

Okay, I know you are sweating, - it is not right this insane girl can cook the whole rice dumpling. Don't sweat ya, wrapping a perfectly un-leak-able rice dumpling is not as easy as you thought k.

Okay, I am making a fuss here. So what? It is still my blog and I know how to wrap a rice dumpling!

I managed to wrap around 14 dumplings without the help of my grandma!!! *proud*
My precious baby rice dumpling, half of them are already in my stomach now!!!

I only got it right after few (fine, after like 20?) attempts. Even now the the shape of the dumplings weren't quite there. But you can see the triangular shape and it doesn't leak!! Practice makes perfect, anyone want to hire me to wrap rice dumpling for ya?

The ingredients of the day, all fully prepared my two aunties and grandma. We have oyster, pork, dried prawn, mushroom, salted egg yolk, and of course sticky rice. Some of the ingredients are not shown above. I actually took the pic of all ingredients, but haiz, my sucky camera skills, it turned out to be blurry.

A fruitful result of a whole day of sweating, squatting, cleaning, washing, cooking, frying, boiling, wrapping, and etc etc etc.
Seem like a lot of rice dumplings huh? Believe me, in a big family, there is only so little rice dumpling for each and everyone.

Wahahahaha...this is the rice dumpling I wrapped!!And it is triangular!! Am I making you hungry?? XD

Heeley

A dog wags its tail with its heart.

~Martin Buxbaum~

I am never a dog person. Seriously.

But how can you? They are such adorable creature with wagging tails!!

Whenever I see a dog, okay, very cute, and it bites. That's it, I draw my line. I know, I am cold-hearted and all that. Well, I never say I am an amiable person right?

And then there is Heeley, a two months old puppy. The only dog/puppy I have ever caresses tenderly for more than 1 minute.

Only my ever two mischievuos and cheeky 9 and 7 years old cousins could have tought of such a name for a puupy. Heeley was given by a neighbour to my grandma, and then my grandma gave it to my auntie's family who stay in Penang.

I come to my auntie's house on Saturday, along with my grandma. It is sorta like a routine for my grandma to come to Penang and stays with her daughters for some days. This time, I tag along! The first day I arrived in Penang, Heeley just got discharge from a vet clinic. According to my auntie, she is having some worms infection, causing it impossible for food digestion.

Heeley, a small local puppy. Adorable and cute. Then, I spent my whole day playing PSP and surfing the net.

Monday evening, out of the blue moon, I sat beside Heeley's cage and looked at her. She looked so weak and vulnerable. Without knowing how I manage to get over the fear of being bitten by a dog, I opened the cage door and stroke Heeley gently. After all, she is only a puppy. Why on earth would I be afraid of her? She tried to stand up but keep falling off. After several attempts, she gave up and lied her body aside while I caress her tiny body. Not bad huh, maybe I might start to like dog soon. I even thought of keeping a dog for real!!haha...Heeley convinced me not all dogs bite.

Heeley looked so fatigue, and she didn't bark at all for two days. She doesn't have to know human language, anyone with bare eyes would have known she is in agony. I have very little knowledge of dog, the only thing I know how to do is to tenderly stroke away all her pain.

Not long afterwards, my uncle reached home with the kids. He called the vet, Dr Joseph after seeing Heeley is not turning any better. After 5 minutes, we are on our way to the vet clinic.

Heeley did not make any noise on the journey. She just lied quietly there.

Dr Joseph injected a kind of fluid into Heeley's backside, which is suppose to cause diarrhea and hence removing all the worms and toxics in her body. The vet threw alot of scientific terms while explaining to us about Heeley's condition. It has been 3 years since I last exposed myself to any scientific thingy, and so I only managed to grab 30% of what the vet was trying to convey. Based on my understanding, Heeley's body was 'attacked' by hookworms, which mostly is genetically inheret through birth or through 'breastfeeding' from her mom. It is very likely that Heeley was having severe internal bleeding and her organs might be cruelly bitten by all the worms.

The fluid is supposed to bring to defecation, in order words, poo!! We waited for 5 minutes, nothing come out. Dr Joseph increase the dose. While the vet was injecting the fluid to Heeley's backside, from laying there weakly, she become uptight, and she tried to open mouth and bark with her faint body. No voice coming out from Heely. She was too weak to moan for pain. I was hoping at least my caress will make her feel better.

After another 5 minutes, still nothing.

Nothing and still nothing.
Bad news. Heeley might be having mechanical failure. And the survival chance is only 25%.

Two option:
- Take the 25%.
- End Heeley's pain once and for all.

Heeley's gaze never leave my uncle while he was thinking. As if she knows what we were talking about. Does dog really understand what human said? If they do, Heeley was suffering inside out.

After much consideration, my uncle decided to put her down. It was very disheartening, but there is only so little we can do. Even the vet said her survival chance was bleak.

Just as we were about to leave, Heeley poo!! Finally she defecated. We can see all the dirty poo coming out!! And here I thought twist and hope are only meant for fiction. She poo!! and it was alot.

There were alot of worms and digested blood in the poo, which indicating severe internal bleeding. For one moment, I really thought Heeley would get well. What was done was till there. Heeley's survical chance is still bleak, and the pain is with her.

Final decision - Let Heeley goes.

We left the clinic. Heeley still didn't make a noise. I wonder, does she know what is going to happen to herself? What will she do if she get to choose for herself? I looked at her eyes for once lifetime, does dog cry? If they do, I think I saw tears in her eyes...

We didn't talk much in the car. I can't tell my uncle is not having the world most desirable emotion now. If must be devastating to make such decision. I don't know what to think and feel.

I only knew Heeley for 2 hours. Afterall, death is part of life.

I can't help crying in the shower. I have had a ride on emotional roller coaster today, a bad bad bad bad bad roller coaster.

Last Chapter of My Internship

“It is good to have an end to journey toward;
but it is the journey that matters, in the end”
~Ursula K. LeGuin~

I never like the way I feel whenever I am reaching the ending of a novel. Never.

Now, I am feeling exactly the same way. My 3-months internship in Grey Global ended today.

I won't say I have grown mature after this internship, there is no way I can judge myself, of course I would bias myself :) Nonetheless, this 3 months journey had widen my vision, and show me my flaws and all the shortcoming I had been ignoring over the years. After all, I am never a perfect person, and I do not wish to be flawless person in the future neither. Perfect is just simply dull :)

Over the past 3 months, I had been dreadful about having to wake up at 6 every morning, and having to spend whole day in the office. Like a kiddy girl waiting for Christmas present, I anticipated the last day of my internship and I expected myself to be like a freed monkey, jumping here and there. Ironically, the reality always seem to be different with my expectation.

It's hard to believe my internship finally ended, there are so much I wish to do in Grey, and so many people I haven't get to know. Looking back, I have done several(maybe more than that) mistakes and foolish acts. It feels sucks to know you are not doing a great job, but hey, I will learn from my mistake! The next time you see me, I will be better!!

Reading the last chapter of the novel is never easy for me. This is the time I when I usually regretted for not spending more times on understanding all the details and also the characters in the story. But hey, why look back when you a bright future radiating brightly in front of you? I am ready to start a new book, and this time, I learn and will not let myself regret :)

Stay confident and keep smiling!

My grandma and handphone

When a child is born, so are grandmothers.

~Judith Levy~

"Why do you need a handphone?"

"Haiyo, sometimes when I am cooking in the kitchen, you all can call the handphone instead of the housephone mah, then I don't have to run all the way from kitchen to living room to answer the phone lor. Somemore I walk so slow, by the time I reach the living room the phone also stop ringing already lor...."

With all the crystal clear facts given by my grandmother, she won herself a handphone.

It was my mom's old Samsung colour handphone, with only basic function - texting and phone call. No picture message and camera. My grandma was contented.

I grew up in a small town called Gurun with my grandma. For 17 years, I spent my life in a village, with very little space and privacy for myself. I was rather a cocky and ignorant teenager. I thought I am perfect and I have all it takes to be someone significant to the world. I can't wait to get out of that small town and spread my wings. Being in a small house, with 3 rooms, and 'tons' of people, I yearned for my own space. Somehow, the value of cherishing people around you just slip through my minds.

After Form 5, I got what I always dreamt of - coming to a big city and pursued the lifestyle I have always wanted. I lived in vanity for one year.

My sister moved to KL later for her studies. It hit me suddenly, I am not as happy as I thought I would be. It's life, you grow up, and slowly one by one, you leave your old house. My grandma is staying with my mom in Gurun, just the two of them with a maid in a big house that was once so noisy and lively. How irony is that. If only I can travel through time, I would have gone back and slap my old self, punch myself maybe, and hopefully, I would learn to live the moment.

The thought of my grandma sitting alone on the couch and listening to the only sound from radio is unbearable. I hate myself for not giving her the care and love she deserve, I hate myself from leaving the house, and I hate myself for enjoying my life here while my grandma is missing her family whom are always busy with their life.

She wouldn't want to move to KL or Penang(my auntie is staying there). She insists. I am glad my mom is still there to take care of her.

" Hey, I saw my sister's handphone, flip one ler. It looks very easy, I can just open and close the phone like that. Then I don't have to lock the keypad, so troublesome."

"You very trendy ler. Your old handphone cannot use already meh?"

"That one going to spoil soon ler. Sometimes it sot sot dei, I cannot listen to what you all said in the phone."

"You know the flip phone very expensive ar?"

"Cheh, I pay myself lar. You bring me to the phone shop can already. I got money."

To compensate for my guilt, I got my grandma a cheap Motorola colour flip handphone, which cost only RM150. I went high and low to look for the possibly cheapest flip phone. The sales assistants were showing me their f**king scornful face everytime I asked this question,

"Leng chai, you got any first hand colour flip phone below RM200 ar?"

"Leng lui, we don't have such cheap phones lar...RM400 one got, you want?"

.......................

Gladly, I managed to find one that is decent enough for my wallet and also to make my grandma happy. I handed her the phone during 2009 CNY, I can tell she was happy and my heart was contented.

I received a call from my grandma two days ago.

"Pei Yinn ar, I don't how ar, I dropped the handphone in the water ar. It cannot be used already now. Haiz..why am I so careless..."

I tried to assure her that it can be fixed and it's still under warantee. After that, I totally put it behind my mind and enjoy the rest of my weekends.

Until today, my auntie(my mom's second sister) sent me a msn message:

Auntie: Hey, you got any unused handphone or not?

Me: No ar, why?

Auntie: Ah ma's handphone dropped into the water. Not sure why, but she seems to be very sad about it. You got any handphone for her?

My heart sunked, tears twirled in my eyes. I know why she is so sad.

I checked my daily planner. I am taking the earliest bus back to Gurun after I ended my internship.

Page of green romance

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you
will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran Lebowitz, Social Studies

I was childish, ignorant, easily manipulated, ridiculous, silly and all the pathetic words you can think of.

Looking back at myself, I can’t stop thinking how silly was I, silly in a good way though. Fell in and out of crush, sweet and bitter, blessed and embarrassed, foolish and rational, fantasy and reality. What a good way to spend my adolescence!

My definition of ‘love’ evolves as I move forward the path of life.

Standard Six

I had my first crush in Standard Six and I will never forget about it. Well, they said the first cut is the deepest (there is no cut actually). He was in front of me in class, a badminton player representing my school for a state (region?) competition. The badminton tournament was held in my school, hence, as the host, our school has the advantage of bigger cheering groups. The class went for the match. Silly me, I was mesmerized by him. After the match, I couldn’t get his image out of my mind and here I thought something was wrong with me. I was smart enough to figure out the answer – I had a crush on a boy, smart huh?
A 12 years old Serene, what can I really do? Peeping at him in class all the time, my heart skipped a beat when my friends talked about him, feeling uneasy when other girls (specially cute girls) approach him, blushed whenever he talked to me, remembered every single words he said to me, tried to impress him with my new hair band and a lot more highly private and confidential issues.
And the best part, I thought I was doing a great job in masking my crush, in fact the whole class knew. Gosh, don’t mention that. I never confess to him, I thought it was not needed. I am glad that I did not! Hah, guess I am not that silly as I thought.
After we graduated from primary school, we lost contact, and that’s the end of my first silly crush.

Form 2

A hurtful and embarrassing one.
I don’t know where the heck this guy get my ICQ (it was still very popular back then) and I don’t what’s wrong with me either, I fell for his words. We chatted through phone and ICQ, and that’s all. He confessed to me few weeks later. Seriously, I couldn’t believe that either. Like I said, I was really pathetic and desperate. Hey, the first time a guy confessed to me, my heart literally stopped functioning when he told me that. I was never his ‘official girlfriend’, we just flirted through phone and ICQ. Even to date I have not met him in real person. My parents thought I was still too young to have a handphone, hence I have to wake up in the middle of the night and called him secretly with my house phone. Pathetic huh?
The whole thing ended in few months, he initiated it. Looking back, I have got no reason to be heartbroken but it did sting for a while. I am good in protecting myself emotionally.

Form 4
Thanks to ICQ again. Apparently my adolescence’s love life evolved around the net.
It was purely platonic at first, we got in touch because of some tuition issue. He was from a different school. We started to SMS each other (yeah, finally, I can do things behind my parents’ back). We shared common interests in books, life and some other things. We basically SMSed each other every hour, except for night time.
After a year, we see no reason for not being together, and voila, my first relationship. I was showered with sweet promises and compliments the whole time, and I thought we are two mature teenagers whom would stick together until forever. I was very much attracted to his maturity and his passion for life.
It ended after 3 months. I was wounded and embarrassed by my own ignorance. I was so blinded by the cupid and overlook the apparent problems between the two of us.

Now
I think it will be very ignorant to say I know the meaning of love at my age. There are umpteen definitions for love out there and they are all very subjective. It's an emotion people felt at heart and beyonds all languages. To me, it's most important to cherish what I had now, to fully live the moment. I have learned to cherish those I love, be tolerance and patience, and lastly, love them unconditionally.

I never regretted for any of it (though I am rather embarrassed at some point), in fact, I am delighted that it happens :)

I cherish these memory of my life, now and forever.

A yellow friend tells me...

Other men said they have seen angels,
But I have seen thee
And thou art enough.
~ by G. Moore ~

Second day of my precious holidays, I promise myself to do something constructive instead of idling around my house after wasted my first off day on basically nothing.

A very nice little bird woke me up at 10 in the morning and I am grateful that I did not trash my handphone on the floor. Weekends usually mean my turn for cleaning the house. I swept the floor, mop it, washed the clothes and bedsheet, and wiped the furniture. Here, I decidedly swear to myself, I will not become a housewife in the future, even if my future husband threatens to divorce me!

Chun Kit arrived later in the morning. Ever since our internship started, we had been spending our weekends on my place together. I never told him how much I enjoy his presence here. Even with him just sit there and play with computer for whole day, seeing him there is all I could ask for.

My dad went out early in the morning, and after all the extreme-household-chore, I was starving!! Out of nowhere, my stomach told me she wants to eat egg tart!! The bright sunny creamy yellow-orange egg tart! I called my dad, asking him to pick up some egg tart for me on his way home.

“I am reaching the car park already, you eat bread lar…”

Okay, no egg tart for my stomach.

The rest of my day went on with no thunder. I watched some Hong Kong drama on DVD, online and went for a swim with Chun Kit.

I am starting to enjoy my moment with the water. For some reasons, I never find being in a large pool of water is safe. I think it’s the insecurity and my inability to lose some grips. There are times when I feel like letting go of the floating board I was holding, and to be freed in the water. Chun Kit likes to float on the water and just stare at the tranquil blue sky while listening to the serene sound of water.Sometimes, a peaceful moment is all it needs to keep a person sane.

We went for dinner with auntie’s family in a hawker stall. As usual, Chun Kit will join us for dinner. After half plate of fried tom yam noodles, and some fried chicken, my stomach was still not very much satisfied. Sigh, after one week hardship of dieting, I was baffled by my stupid stomach. I went to order some fishball. As I turned around and walked back to our able from the fishball stall, I saw a silly guy stood in front of me with an egg tart.

“Why…” a speechless Serene trying to understand.

“I bought for my mom you dumbass.” Chun Kit said sarcastically.

I grinned like a little girl.

To be honest, the egg tart is not very nice in taste. Nonetheless, it tells me I am one lucky blessed girl :)